Here's an idea

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Stop caring about what people think.

I see threads in here like "How can I do this to not seem creepy" etc.

You know what? Do it your way, and if they think you're creepy chuck them in the "f**k it bucket" and move on! It's how the "Alpha males" do it.

If you like someone - tell them
If you want to ask someone a question - ask it.
If you worry about being rejected - screw them - what makes their opinion so special?

If you are looking for some sort of universal way to please people... there isn't one. If you keep caring about what a bunch of w*kers think you'll never, ever feel good enough.

Good advice. I was going to start a thread but I will include it here. I decided to give online dating one last shot (eHarmony) and made my profile absolutely, apologetically represent me. I basically said "here I am like it or not" and to my surprise I had not one, not two but three women contact me. I doubt any of the three are GF material but it's just like my job search years ago. When I was myself, stopped listening to "experts" and didn't worry about coming across the wrong way or asking the "wrong" question I was ten times as successful. That's what annoys me about most women's (and probably men's) profiles: they sounds like cut and paste jobs trying to please everyone. In my experience, when you try to please everyone you please nobody. At work I am an expert at logistics but if I was in charge of PR too I would fail miserably and there is nothing wrong with that.

My issue is that for most of my life I blamed myself for EVERYTHING. Until recently, the police could have probably told me I was wanted for war crimes and I would have responded "in that case take me to jail". I was a good student in school but I was so gullible I believed everything everyone said about me. After all I don't lie so why would they? Other kids got me in trouble because of my naive and gullible nature and that I never defended myself because what they said must be true.

I used to be completely devastated and heartbroken whenever a girl didn't feel the same way I did but now I am thankful. I can clearly see THEY are the ones with the issues and if they have a problem with say my posture or my lack of "Alpha" traits, that's no reason why I should change my core personality to please them. My future spouse will accept me for me and I will do the same for them, end of story. When the women asked me questions on eHarmony I answered them honestly and directly and if they close me off because of that, it saves me from further headaches. That's not to say I write about how I'm into BDSM stuff or anything (one of my matches did though!) but I don't try to pretend to be a cocky, pseudo-Alpha male that girls drool over. I do put my best foot forward but it is my foot and nobody else's.

Update: That three quickly turned into six once I made this post. Who would have thought being myself might actually have drawn such positive attention!

You and your crazy ideas!

And how does one not care what people think...if they've been damaged due to what people think of them and how they where treated by said people? Also there are such things as social anxiety, depression and varying things that can make one much more sensitive to that sort of thing. I myself don't base my life around 'OMG what are people going to think of me' 24/7' but yeah I've found no way to not care whatsoever. Though I certainly agree if someone isn't going to accept you for who you are then ditch them...but that isn't going to stop the rejection from being painful in a lot of cases.

^ what she said. I care about what certian people think and rejection hurts. if i cared about what everyone thought I wouldn't dress how i do. Its not fashionable compared to other people but i find it comfortable and good value for the price. one does have to care what people think to keep a job though.

It's a mind manipulation and training thing. You can't just do it overnight. I'm not even there, but you have to truly teach yourself that people who make you feel like crap don't matter, nor do their opinions.

My life, also, is a constant battle with this. I've been beaten to the ground and 6 feet under by the actions of other people as well, but I decided it's not fair to let them have that hold. slowly I am trying to challenge my self hating thoughts, and taking other people off the pedestals they do not deserve.

I would like to write out an article on how I am doing this, but I need to figure out how to word it.

Well said Hale_Bopp.

This is frankly a 'mantra' of sorts, that I've had to learn, accept and overcome during my adolescence, thankfully on the other side and regularly chucking people in the 'fuck-it' bucket as you so succinctly put it.

For most of my life, I was oblivious to my autism and just went around like I was normal. And, most things worked very well. After finding out I'm autistic, I spent about a year trying to compensate for it, with poor results. I have to agree with Hale_Bopp, charge ahead like you belong where you are and are completely normal. I've gone back to that with very good results.