I'm glad I never got married. How about you?

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Dating can be fun, but I really think the tentative non-commingled untangled relationship with a quick escape plan is best. Marriage is declining in popularity, and some would argue it's declining in viability - statistics seem to support that. I have to say, being able to shut everything off with a switch is really good. Shouldn't your home be your castle and refuge? What do you think?

happily married. perhaps the secret is that he's an introvert, too. we both need alone time.

Do you have your own zones in your home?

I must be an outlier. I feel stunted from a lifetime alone.

I'm realizing those who have the option and choose to be single are happier than those who have limited choice, for what ever reason. Obviously, having the choice in valuable in and of itself. But, wether by choice or not, you would think the benefits of a personal refuge would be the same. To so many people, being married or quasi-married means having no refuge.

I like it as a symbol for each other and for the kids, it's also good to have some measure of stigma if a parent wants to depart, because that just leaves the child vulnerable in not having the best in mother and the best in father. Although the stigma doesn't seem to be there anymore.

But I see it as something really intended for the stability of the environment that surrounds the kids, mother and father need to be there through the bad and through the good, having one parent completely disappear can really hurt the child in the long run.

If I wanted kids I would want to get married, because the symbol to me is very important, but I don't, so the best I'm hoping for is just simple companionship.

he gets up early and i stay up late. our own zones are times of day.

Pretty glad I never got married, as I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have lasted more than three years without experiencing the joy and expense of divorce.

Pretty glad I never had kids for similar reasons.

any good relationship will have "refuges" mutually agreed upon.

how fortuitous

Also happily married. I had always viewed marriage as more of a legal contract before, but it does lend a gravity to the relationship that I value. Sometimes I occasionally feel too defined by the "wife" status because I'm not an appendage, and my sense of individuality feels a little stifled. That is more of a societal reflection to marriage, than my marriage itself.
In the relationship itself, I am in constant disbelief how blessed I am.

i enjoy the companionship and am happier than when i was single most recently. we just did a crossword together tonight. little things like that are priceless. i still need my alone time, though.

I think it is GREAT that both you and mother nature worked out a reasonably pragmatic solution to your respect "alone time" needs.

Anybody ever heard of a relatively young married couple that each have their own bedrooms? I sure never have although it would be almost mandatory if I was ever married.

In technical terms, I think that's called "time domain multiplexing."