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JP88
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 18 Jan 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 187

18 Jul 2014, 1:13 pm

Going on 23 and I've never been in a relationship, or for that matter been really good friends with a female, so I was wondering how much of a commitment is being in a relationship?

For those who have a relationship (not long-distance or just through computer) do you have to hang out or talk everyday? It's questions like that which make me wonder because I'm more of a "lone wolf," so at times I do like to be alone, and sometimes I like to do things by myself too. I'm not sure if I'm ever going to get married or anything. I have some friends that have girlfriends but I don't talk to them about that and they seem pretty secretive of that stuff anyway. I haven't really been connecting with my friends lately anyway, and my no one in my family can really give me advice so there's only a couple people I can talk to about this stuff besides coming on here and none of those friends have a girl either.

I kind of live by my own schedule and it's hard sometimes for me to focus when I have to stray away from it. I go to work Mon-Fri and by the time I get home there is always something to do. I have to set up my car payments and I have already procrastinated for about 3 weeks and I have to set it up in a couple weeks from now. If I had a girl in my life, I don't know if I would be able to handle everything, especially the emotional side of it too.

So I just wanted some opinions on how a relationship is, what to expect in a relationship, and if maybe I am the kind of person that isn't husband material.

Thanks.



StrangeG
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 17 Jul 2014
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 43

18 Jul 2014, 6:03 pm

There's a pretty huge range of how much interaction goes on in a relationship. Some couples want to do almost everything together, some only interact a couple of times a week. In one of my past relationships we were together everyday as soon as we started dating, a different relationship ended because she thought a brief text message every day or two was "clingy."

I would say most non-married, dating couples communicate more or less daily, and see each other in person a few times a week.
If you're just dating, but not "boyfriend and girlfriend" half that would be pretty normal.

Figuring out how much interaction the other party expects can be a challenge. Leaving them wanting a little is generally better than over doing it, especially early in a relationship. Eventually you have to find a balance you're both happy with, but it might take some time to get it right.