Are we the worst effected!

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Joined: 24 Oct 2008
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17 Jul 2014, 12:25 pm

Are aspie males the group in society at the biggest 'disadvantage' in the dating world?

Short men or tall women might struggle more with dating but I think even they fair much better than we do in romantic relationships

Just curious if the problems we have are VERY unique compared to most people on the planet?

Possibly people with Down syndrome or people with other types of disabilities could be at a bigger disadvantage......

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jul 2014, 12:37 pm

Honestly, I don't usually see tall women struggle much (I know none who's single) because of their height unless they have really thick bone frame (not much common in my area); otherwise thin or regular tall women are generally desirable and usually isn't hard to find men of equal height or taller (or even bit shorter).

It should be short men and tall-thick women.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Jul 2014, 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jamesy
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17 Jul 2014, 12:39 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Honestly, I don't usually see tall women struggle much (I know none who's single) because of their height unleas they have really thick bone frame (not much common here); otherwise thin tall women are generally desirable and usually isn't hard to find men of equal height or same (or even bit shorter).

It should be short men and tall-thick women.

You think male aspies are hardest hit then? From what I understand people are prevented Dom dating each other cause of spreading there condition.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jul 2014, 12:41 pm

I dunno, I don't care anymore and it doesn't matter anyway.

Azereiah
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17 Jul 2014, 12:50 pm

As an autistic guy romantically involved with a 6'3" neurotypical girl, I don't really think there's much to the whole "advantage" or "disadvantage" thing.

It is what you make it.

Ann2011
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17 Jul 2014, 12:51 pm

Jamesy wrote:

I think people who whine about reasons that they may not be getting dates are the most disadvantaged.

kraftiekortie
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17 Jul 2014, 1:17 pm

I, wholeheartedly, agree with Ann.

People tend to create their own self-fulfilling prophecies.

Who cares if "Aspies are at a disadvantage in the dating scene" or whatever? It's you, as an individual, who could overcome this perceived "disadvantage."

Azereiah
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17 Jul 2014, 1:39 pm

Ann2011 gets it.

sly279
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17 Jul 2014, 7:55 pm

Ann2011 wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I think people who whine about reasons that they may not be getting dates are the most disadvantaged.

why?

Ann2011
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17 Jul 2014, 8:06 pm

sly279 wrote:

Ann2011 wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I think people who whine about reasons that they may not be getting dates are the most disadvantaged.

why?

It's a maladaptive behaviour. One cannot change anything but oneself. If you are not successful in acquiring what you desire whining will not help, the only thing you can change is yourself.
Complaining about the way things should be is unproductive.

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17 Jul 2014, 8:54 pm

Nah mate, YOU are the worst disadvantaged in the world. You win the "I have it bad" contest.

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Klowglas
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17 Jul 2014, 9:08 pm

Ann2011 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Ann2011 wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I think people who whine about reasons that they may not be getting dates are the most disadvantaged.

why?

This seems cruel considering male aspies aren't exactly equipped with the best tools needed to engage a relationship, relationships often require a lot of social prowess, something that we're especially bad at.... We also have to keep in min that male aspies are contending with NT's, whom have much better 'hardware'. Frequently losing these social battles to NT's is what leads to male aspie gloom.

Male aspies don't just wake up and decide they want to brood. before they ever got to that point they've been dealt mountains of rejections, since males are usually the the aggressor, the male aspie unfortunately, has to be dealt a tremendous amount of rejections.

For the women --think about being rejected job after job after years of doing job interviews. There is no human on earth that will not feel utterly devestated, emasculated or worthless after that. Hence male aspie gloom. Many male aspies, including myself, have been dealt that sort of devastation, it is not a nice feeling especially considering you remember each and every one of those rejections.

Next time you have a fit, or cry (which you will) you can't just say that complaining will not help,the reason a person complains, or that anyone cries is because they're in pain because of a real difficulty or obstacle. Telling them to 'suck up' demonstrates a tremendous lack of empathy.

Ann2011
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17 Jul 2014, 9:26 pm

Klowglas wrote:

Ann2011 wrote:

Finding a mate is not equivalent to fighting for resources.

Quote:

Male aspies don't just wake up and decide they want to brood. before they ever got to that point they've been dealt mountains of rejections, since males are usually the the aggressor, the male aspie unfortunately, has to be dealt a tremendous amount of rejections.

Yeah, me too.

Quote:

For the women --think about being rejected job after job after years of doing job interviews. There is no human on earth that will not feel utterly devestated, emasculated or worthless after that. Hence male aspie gloom. Many male aspies, including myself, have been dealt that sort of devastation, it is not a nice feeling especially considering you remember each and every one of those rejections.

I'm wearing the t-shirt.

Quote:

Next time you have a fit, or cry (which you will) you can't just say that complaining will not help,the reason a person complains, or that anyone cries is because they're in pain because of a real difficulty or obstacle. Telling them to 'suck up' demonstrates a tremendous lack of empathy.

All I'm saying is that spening one's energy complaining about something uncontrollable is a waste of time.

sly279
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18 Jul 2014, 12:41 am

Ann2011 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Ann2011 wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I think people who whine about reasons that they may not be getting dates are the most disadvantaged.

why?

complaining helps get the frustration and depression out rather then keeping it built up inside. It also helps me finish hard hikes.

I don't think one should have to change to find love. however it apparently is how society sees it.

The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jul 2014, 12:51 am

This whine-shaming again against males in particular.

The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jul 2014, 1:10 am

Ann2011 wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I think people who whine about reasons that they may not be getting dates are the most disadvantaged.

Unless he does it in public then no, but complaining anonymously on the internet won't make a difference, it's not like a "I whine on the internet anonymously" will appear on his forehead.

Klow got it right, It's like those people who had been unemployed for years complaining on yahoo or something with an alias lostloser or something; it's not like the HR will be able to recognize who's that.

Usually those who are quick to whine shame like this are: 1- people in relationship; 2- people who were in relationship.

And I can bet if the op was female he wouldn't get the same reaction, Halfmadgenius and Shebakoby didn't get such reactions for example and those made several complaining threads.

Look at some of the dramatic threads she made:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt257358.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt262333.html

There was also a user called Erisad who complained A LOT before she lost her virginity.

No one, no one ever told them "stop whining" - no one. I only see this type responses said to males (by males and females), this is a fine example of "men don't cry"/"Be a man!" culture.

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