RetroGamer87 wrote:
Yeah, I know but I'd still be willing to listen to anyone's tips (not lame pickup lines) on getting out of the acquaintance zone incase I overcome my irrational and baseless fear.
This is precisely why I think conventional dating is dead.
I don't have any practical advice for getting out of the acquaintance zone--I think this is something that happens naturally over time as two people out of a crowd become well-enough acquainted to develop a mutual attraction. Sometimes you can take the initiative early on, sometimes it just takes a lot of time. I turned pages for a piano major I was attracted to in college. That turned into walking to lunch together. And that turned into going out for a movie. And that turned into hey, I think maybe you're my girlfriend, because I'm not seeing anyone else?what are your thoughts on that? I'd say I had fairly good luck, and that's all it ever was?pure, dumb luck. Most people aren't going to do as well as I did just by random chance, so the best way to get past fear is shift to a different way of thinking: Luck favors the prepared.
I'm not going to go through my usual spiel on it. I will suggest perhaps reversing the usual thinking on acquaintance/friendzones. We become victims of the n-zones when others put us in them. We become masters of n-zones when we put others in them. If you start everyone in the n-zone, you kill the expectation for yourself that you will ever be anything more than friends or acquaintances. The only direction you CAN go is up, since you consciously put yourself and others on a level playing field at the bottom. You work your way up and out of the n-zone, or through various levels of various zones, by building closeness within whatever context you find that person.
For example, let's say you meet someone nice at work. You spoke in the parking lot for 5 minutes last week, but otherwise you don't really know her. So you stop by her work area for 15 seconds to say hello, ask her how her cat is doing, and, oh, by the way, I'm heading to the break room for a cup of coffee, can I bring you something? She'll probably say, "No, thanks!" but it's too late?those 15 seconds have irrevocably altered your relationship. Still doesn't mean the relationship is heading in a romantic direction, it's not a panacea that's going to make her sleep with you. It just means the acquaintanceship or friendship has been nudged slightly towards the edge of that zone and into something else, and that's not something you should take for granted.
Not to mention if you do this regularly enough with a lot of friends or acquaintances, you'll gradually chip away at your own apprehension. The more confident you are, the easier it is to open those kinds of doors. Hint: Most of the doors are already open?we're just too scared to walk through, and it's easier to pretend they just don't exist.