Is it just me or is something really "off"?

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Hey! I am hoping this is the right place to post this.

In previous posts I have posted about concerns with my boyfriend, whom has Asperger's. Well, that's the reason I'm here, but it's more about our relationship in general.

My concern is, when my boyfriend and I recently begin dating again, he was very romantic and stuff. I felt very loved. He always wanted to pleasure me. He still does care, but for some reason, something just feels really...."off".

Like, some examples are that he used to be so flirty and sweet almost all the time. He would text A LOT. Morning, noon, evening, etc. He showed that he genuinely cared, and always concerned about my safety. He still does text a lot, but a lot of the things I mentioned seemed to have, er, "dimmed" to not as much.

During the past couple of days, or in the past week (somewhere in that range), he wasn't as attentive and romantic. Like, he still tells me he loves me now and then, just not as much as before. His sex drive seems to be the same (or almost...?). He still wants to make love, and the other day we did some Skype sex stuff and afterwards he told me he loved me and that he was going to make our "first time" making love very special. He has called me his "angel" still (once) and still seems to love me outside of sexual purposes, he just seems like he's having a hard time making conversation or like he isn't sure what to say next, etc. Though I'm not quite sure. It seems like he's putting in effort, just not as much as before.

He also seems like he's depressed or stressed, which he has mentioned that he is "stressed" before. He told me he's been busy, though he still seems to make a little effort to text, check in, ask how I'm doing, etc. Just not as often. I have asked him if he's okay, or if we're okay, or how's work, etc. Of course, he has said that "Everything's fine, I've just been really busy." He does have a job, as well as another "job/project" (which he's shown me) that he is trying to keep up with, too. It's just recently he seems very absorbed in it.

I'm not complaining or anything; it's just that I have a hard time interpreting cues and what's going on. The other piece to this that I wanted to mention is whether I could possibly be interpreting things wrong, and/or having "cognitive distortions" as my mental health as not been as great recently. One thing is that I just got done with my "emotional time of the month". Also, I'd been off my antidepressants for a week due to a mix up at the pharmacy (I started them again yesterday after it got figured out), so my anxiety and depression were through the roof. I've had a lot of other stressors, such as the holidays approaching (PTSD), and trying to fulfill people's expectations of me to do well in school and remember things, while going through therapy, etc.

Anyways, I've been noticing that due to stress, my mental health had been "slipping", and my anxiety got worse (I have extremely high levels of anxiety). When this happens, I get forgetful, and I also start getting paranoid and thinking people hate me or want to hurt me, and my perceptions get thrown off. This has happened before where I've had a mental breakdown from PTSD and it got me paranoid or made me perceive things the wrong way. I'm currently on the watch to see if that may be happening. I'm usually the first to notice.

Basically, I am wondering if mental illness is throwing off my perception and making me feel paranoid that he is going to leave me, or if he actually seems to want to leave. Because I mean, he still seems to love me, and I've done research and heard about the "just getting comfortable" stage of the relationship, but anxiety is building and I'm feeling insecure even though he says he's just busy. He wanted to sext last night as we usually do but I was too depressed and said I would talk to him in the morning, and sleep well. He said "Okay baby" and "Good night".

Plus he hasn't texted me yet which is unusual and I'm worried.

I was accused of this sort of behaviour by a Woman I was recently dating, she was rather more horrid about it than you though, so I finished with her and am enjoying the lack of stress.
Maybe, just as Aspies can enjoy a conversation or social activity, but soon finds it tiring and so needs a rest, perhaps the same thing occurs long-term as in the hard work needed to maintain a relationship, I find it really hard all the endless communication and reassurance Women seem to require, whilst it is necessary at first to create that bond, its the way it continues to be necessary all through the relationship that seems tiring and pointless to us.
It certainly doesn't mean we are losing interest, just that its such hard work to maintain for reasons we cannot fathom.

Hmmm... Based upon your description it seems like the relationship is going through a normal progression. Of course whenever you first start seeing someone both people are super-excited to see and talk to each other all the time, and as time goes on, you develop a comfort level and the passion dims a little bit.

The guy is always going to be highly attentive and affectionate during the courting phase, but honestly it is difficult to expend that kind of energy for weeks, months, years, etc.

I think that he may be stressed due to the level of intimacy expected and may need some alone time to rejuvenate and recharge from his work projects as well. Intimacy can be stressful as well and some people have a tendency to pull back when they have had a very intensely emotional moment as well. I don't see that intimacy is the problem here, however. It could be though if he is stressed out from work.

However, it seems the guy is doing the best he can to reassure you at the same time, so I don't see how he doesn't love you.

Sounds like a combination of him being an aspie with a special interest in his side project and you being a bit "off" in terms of mental health and perceptions.

Also sounds like you might be being a little too codependent on him for your own happiness if you're saying he's still telling you he loves you but because it's not as frequent you don't feel assured of it. Relax & breathe a little - there's likely nothing wrong with your relationship at all and you're just being a wee bit too neurotic about it. I don't mean to be rude saying that.. just calling it like I see it.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

how old is the relationship? most people, after like 3 or 4 months, settle down from the initial rush of the beginning of the relationship. it doesn't mean he's not in love with you anymore. relationships aren't always 24/7 mushy love and validating each other's attention needs every hour of the day.

if he blatantly ignores you or brushes you off, starts acting like your needs aren't important, or most importantly makes stupid excuses to justify such things, then you need to worry.

Yeah I totally think it's me now. Lol I have been a bit higher in anxiety lately. Thank you all again for your reassurance