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capturingtheforfeit
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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20 Dec 2014, 5:15 pm

I recently spoke with my ex gf. Our bonding through texting was going well until this happen:

Me: you are such a punk :D and you shouldn't be texting me past one isn't it past your bed time Missy

Ruby: Thanks I'm happy to be a punk! And don't you worry about my bedtime

Me: Oh your BEDtime is a top priority of mine

She hasn't spoken to me since, I believe and know the last comment I left may have upset her. What should I say to get her back



kraftiekortie
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20 Dec 2014, 5:25 pm

We're you kidding around with each other until the BED comment? If not, you seemed to have been battling all through.



capturingtheforfeit
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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20 Dec 2014, 6:14 pm

yes we were it wasn't until that last comment and I don't know what to say to her now



yellowtamarin
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20 Dec 2014, 6:53 pm

"Hey, where'd you go?"



Rhapsody
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20 Dec 2014, 9:00 pm

You guys have terminated your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and are now friends, right? Significant others who are in a relationship communicate differently than people who are just friends. The problem was you overstepped a boundary. Calling her a punk is fine, friends insult each other jokingly all the time. However, you crossed a line when you went from teasing to innuendo. It seems that she's comfortable keeping friendly terms with you, however she's made it pretty clear that you're not going to get farther than friendship again anytime soon.

I would suggest you shoot her a quick apology, and then never bring up the issue, or make uncomfortable innuendos with her again. Something along the lines of "Sorry. How are you today?" would probably work quite well. I also suggest that for the sake of your tentative friendship that you don't demand she explain why she suddenly cut communication with you.



capturingtheforfeit
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07 Jan 2015, 12:09 pm

Thanks for your reply Rhapsody it was good to hear your opinion on the matter just like everyone else who responded. I used the line, "Sorry how are you today" and she messaged me.

Well after talking to her for a while I asked her out on a date and she accepted. The date occurred and she seemed very bored of the date.

Now I called her the same night of when the date occurred and she didn't call back. Should I continue trying to communicate with her and if so, how long should I wait to text her(1 day, 2 days or 5 days)?



Rhapsody
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07 Jan 2015, 11:11 pm

That's great to hear it worked out for you! =D

I'm a bit surprised she accepted going out on another date. Did you make it clear that it was a date, and not hanging out, or something more buddy-buddy? I'm sorry, I can't tell if there was a miscommunication, and it made her uncomfortable, or if it's a soft rejection from the context you've given me. I don't know how to answer your last question. How long do you usually go between texting her? Since you already have a relationship, you should be able to extrapolate from there?



capturingtheforfeit
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11 Jan 2015, 5:48 pm

It was a date/birthday celebration for her when we went together. The texting have become less frequent between us as of late. She is willing to go to the movies with me this week which is fine but I have a negative impression that our bond will not last long. But I can extrapolate from this point on.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jan 2015, 6:11 pm

This happens when (a girl re-dating a guy after friend-zoning him and plays these silence periods):

There's another recent guy (priority#1 guy) in her life whom she's texting and seeing way more frequently than you but she didn't get him yet or not sure yet if she will get him yet, so meanwhile she's playing the pull-and-loose the rope with you to maintain you as a available option, you are the spare part guy and she's totally aware that you are dying to return to her and there seems no competition with another girl on you, so you are a guaranteed option - that's why she keeps communication with you at minimum.

If things don't go as planned with guy A, she might then accept you as bf, if not, she will kicks you into the friendzone again or have aim for an another guy while you stay chained.



capturingtheforfeit
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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31 Jan 2015, 7:55 pm

I wanted to go out with her on Friday and she told me that she couldn't go out. I asked why and she said that she had a doctor's appointment and it was her father's birthday.

Next I texted her:

Just let me know the truth and it is that you don't want to see me anymore, am i right?

She texted back:

What I've told you is true! :x
And yeah now that you bring it up I don't wish to see you anymore

Afterwords I began calling her a lot (15x) and texting her. She hasn't respond to any of them. I don't want to lose her. Is there anyway to get her back because I really like her. :cry: :(



KayteeKay
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31 Jan 2015, 8:33 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This happens when (a girl re-dating a guy after friend-zoning him and plays these silence periods):

There's another recent guy (priority#1 guy) in her life whom she's texting and seeing way more frequently than you but she didn't get him yet or not sure yet if she will get him yet, so meanwhile she's playing the pull-and-loose the rope with you to maintain you as a available option, you are the spare part guy and she's totally aware that you are dying to return to her and there seems no competition with another girl on you, so you are a guaranteed option - that's why she keeps communication with you at minimum.

If things don't go as planned with guy A, she might then accept you as bf, if not, she will kicks you into the friendzone again or have aim for an another guy while you stay chained.


Capturing: Your ex likely stopped talking to you because your text implied you felt ENTITLED to dictate who she did or did not engage in "bed activities" with. It's inappropriately possessive, gross and I'd probably stop speaking to ANY ex-bf who sent me a wildly inappropriate message like that.

Face of Boo: "Rezoning into the friend zone" -- barf barf barf to Pick Up Artist Culture Rules, which are 1) totally made up, 2) beyond gross & 3) all too often the refuge of over-entitled, desperate, sexist, creeps like Eliott Rodger who insist on calling themselves "incels" (and who are perennially single because women can tell they are vile, awful dudes and sensibly give them a wild berth).



Rhapsody
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31 Jan 2015, 10:49 pm

capturingtheforfeit wrote:
I wanted to go out with her on Friday and she told me that she couldn't go out. I asked why and she said that she had a doctor's appointment and it was her father's birthday.

Next I texted her:

Just let me know the truth and it is that you don't want to see me anymore, am i right?

She texted back:

What I've told you is true! :x
And yeah now that you bring it up I don't wish to see you anymore

Afterwords I began calling her a lot (15x) and texting her. She hasn't respond to any of them. I don't want to lose her. Is there anyway to get her back because I really like her. :cry: :(

Why would you accuse someone of lying, and expect them not to be upset about it? Did you at least apologize when you were spamming her with messages? Also, sometimes people don't answer their phone because they are legitimately busy, and not because they're stringing you along/whatever stupid pickup artist material people on this forum will tell you.



capturingtheforfeit
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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01 Feb 2015, 12:23 am

I accused her of lying because I set up the date in advance and she was aware of it and we talked about it and agreed to meet up. When Friday came all of a sudden she cancels it within a few hours we were suppose to meet.

I did apologize upon the time I was texting her. It has been two weeks since she has responded. So I'm trying to find out what I should say or text to get her to even talk to me again.



trollcatman
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01 Feb 2015, 1:00 am

She probably realised you want to renew the relationship, while she wants to remain just friends. Everything you said indicates you want more. Since you are no longer in a relationship is it not your business what she does in bed or she'd rather go to her father's birthday.



aspiemike
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01 Feb 2015, 3:18 am

KayteeKay wrote:


Face of Boo: "Rezoning into the friend zone" -- barf barf barf to Pick Up Artist Culture Rules, which are 1) totally made up, 2) beyond gross & 3) all too often the refuge of over-entitled, desperate, sexist, creeps like Eliott Rodger who insist on calling themselves "incels" (and who are perennially single because women can tell they are vile, awful dudes and sensibly give them a wild berth).


Nobody is going to comment on Elliot Rodger. Not going to comment on the first part of your post because I feel I can agree with you when it came to the OP making the girl uncomfortable. Many guys have made that mistake and many guys are also forgiven, and this is not an example in which the guy is forgiven. You don't need to make everyone feel like pieces of crap for making mistakes though.

But if you believe that any women don't ever actually chase after one guy while dangling a carrot for the guy chasing them, you are either naive or ignorant. I've seen it and been the fallback option for two consecutive girls that I dated (which did result in me doing soul searching and figuring out my own behaviours while also figuring out how not to make the mistake of dating those types of people again).

-I chased the first one and got burned and even ignored for a few days at a time. Eventually her birthday came and I asked her what time to come get her and she said to me "Can we see eachother after? I think my ex is coming by" I ask questions and am able to dig out from her that she was still seeing him after they broke up and she started seeing me, and she had no intention of letting him go. Obviously we stopped seeing eachother on her birthday and yes she wanted me to feel bad for it despite not handling her own affairs any better than she did.
-The second one was notable because she did attempt to dangle the carrot or crawl back twice and got rejected twice. She would contact me once in a while and it turned out that each time she did, She hadn't heard from her boyfriend in a while. That made me suspicious immediately when she said that. I was able to confirm my suspicions when she opened up more, and I would let her down as politely as I knew how at the time.


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capturingtheforfeit
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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01 Feb 2015, 4:00 pm

The bed comment is old and she didn't think it was a big deal.

The issue is what happened two weeks and I just want outside advice to help overcome this dilemma that has been bestow upon me. What should I say or do to hopefully fix this problem.