Is this an aspergers moment or are people just stupid?

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so I was talking to this girl online and she lived like 40 minutes away so she asks, how would this "work" exactly, so I said well, if you were to stay at my place then you could just go back to work the next day and it'd be against traffic so no problem, your work is only 30 mins away, and then she's like, "whoa, I just met you I'm not into hooking up!"

Two lines later, she's not responding, i say, look maybe you didn't understand what i meant, and then she's like "well, I don't want to plan out the whole relationship before we've even had dinner" Uhhhh, wait, you asked me how it would work, so i told you how it would work, and then you criticize me for moving too fast after I just told you what you asked me for?

I mean, I'm assuming if we are dating then we'll go to eachothers houses and then we'll need to go to work the next day or whatever. I dunno, what other way does a relationship work?

People are just stupid.

Was it to be a hook-up or a date? It would be unclear to me if someone said to me "how is this going to work."

Yeah, it seems a bit stupid that she asks a direct question pertaining to a possible relationship, then freaks out when you give her a direct answer. If she's not into "hooking up," why did she pose the question in the first place?

Uhhh, ok, clarification. I wasn't really going for hookup here, I am not really that type of guy, when she says "how would this work" I'm thinking well she's talking about how would we spend time together with our busy schedules and the long distance between us.

That's kind of the shame of it, I feel I don't really have bad intentions but women always seem to just be looking for some reason to think that I do, even if it means twisting my words and intentions.

Typical neurotypical ... playing games with language. Who knows what the right response was, but if that's going to set her off, chalk it up to luck that you found out quickly..

I think this would have been a scenario where you would have to give her some specific details about what you were thinking about. If she were to still give you the same kind of response, then you would know for sure that it wasn't you.

You're a real 'player', aren't you....

I think she thought you wanted a relationship too quickly. She might have thought that you assumed that everything was set--that you were already seeing each other. Maybe she didn't understand that you were talking hypothetically.

Hence, she got a little paranoid through this misunderstanding.

Did she tell you what “this” was?

I don't think it was stupidity or a word game. I think it was miscommunication. You two don't have much of an established relationship, right? Following the scenario you gave us, I would assume that she was actually asking how you two would want to meet in the future. As in, do you want to meet somewhere in between where you two live? Or perhaps switch off every other date driving the forty minutes to where the other lives? If that was her line of thinking, your response probably startled her. She should have explained herself further, but that doesn't mean you should assume she's an idiot because you said something that obviously made her uncomfortable.

She was probably talking about the more immediate future of dating as acquaintances, not the further off future of dating more seriously/being in a committed relationship.

When you said something about that further off future, which she thinks it is too soon to talk about, she assumed that you were thinking about being in a relationship way too soon.

I think she maybe does want a relationship, but assumed you inviting her to your place meant sex. A lot of neurotypical females assume that.

mentioning your house was too fast; i think she ment 'meeting at place X and going to our respective homes'.
40 minutes can be a problem if your plans extend to late in the night (like a midnight viewing of a movie).

people are stupid like that, but since they are the same stupid, it was an aspie moment to give an actual answer to the question.
a better answer would be along the lines of "well, i'll come to a place you want and drive the long way home, no problem".

I would have to know the whole scenario like the whole conversation you guys were having for me to to take a wild guess. This is just too vague for me to tell or to even understand it.