Are the warm fuzzy feelings supposed to go away?

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Ok,This all started around July 2014

I was working this summer job and I met the most interesting, funny and adorable young lady I've ever met. Whenever I was around her I felt these feelings that I can't explain. It was one of the biggest crushes of my life. I eventually got up the nerve to ask her out. After about 4-5 dates she didn't want to spend time with me anymore for some reason. When this happened, I fell into a deep and inescapable depression. I missed her. I thought about her every day and I would beat myself up and constantly blame myself for what had happened. I lost all purpose to live or do anything.

After spending all winter feeling this way I had decided to go out on a limb and contacted her a few weeks ago. I asked her to go to the movies with me and she said yes. I was so excited and happy. We've gone on 3 dates since then. The first date was one of the best nights I have had in months. The second date was pretty enjoyable, but not as great. The third one I felt like I was just going through the motions. I've come to realize that those warm fuzzy feelings I felt last summer are in much smaller quantities than they once were. I still feel as depressed as I have been for almost a year now and I don't understand why. I feel like I don't really want to be in her company that often anymore and I just want to withdraw from everyone else as I have been for some time now. I don't understand what's going on. We have so much in common and she's so funny and smart. I feel like she would be the coolest girlfriend ever but all I don't feel attracted to her as much as I once was.

We've talked over social media and texting little bits over the past week or two and I think she might like me. We were gonna go on another date this week but she said she was busy all week.(I believe her, I know she's not lying). I guess I don't know what to do. If we stop seeing each other again there no chance in heck I'll get a 3rd chance with her again. I've never connected with another girl like her before and it's possible I may never find anybody like her ever again. I feel like I shouldn't be too picky anyway because she's the only girl who's ever showed any kind of interest in me in my entire life. On the other side of the coin, if we're not right for each other I don't want to force a relationship and be even more miserable and depressed than I already am. I feel she deserves a guy that's more emotionally stable than me anyway.

Has anybody here ever had a situation like this before? What's wrong with me? This is so frustrating.

I actually feel a little better after typing that. I guess it feel good to get it off my chest.

I am glad that writing it out has helped; writing my troubles can have that effect on me also.

I have been in similar situations. I few things helped me better understand what I was going through. (Of course your mileage may vary:

- Limerance is an old Freudian-type term for the warm and fuzzy feelings of early romance. It is characterized by release of dopamine and other pleasurable stuff. Some studies suggest it generally lasts from two weeks to two years. So maybe some of what you are experiencing is just the normal progression of romantic involvement, and by itself does not indicate the relationship is not worthy of further investment.

- As an Aspie, I have a high need for alone time. During early romance (i.e. Limerance) this need is usually temporarily overridden by my enjoyment of all the positive hormones. But as Limerance fades my need for solitude reassert itself. I have to view that as, what is for me, a normal progression. It is at that point that I can make a rational decision about the relationship that is unclouded by all the "feels".

That is just how things play out for me.

I feel like I shouldn't be too picky anyway because she's the only girl who's ever showed any kind of interest in me in my entire life.

Whatever you do, PLEASE don't make a decision based on this. Go for someone you really, really like. There WILL be girls that you like very much and that like you very much, trust me.

For the rest, I totally agree with this:
Limerance is an old Freudian-type term for the warm and fuzzy feelings of early romance. It is characterized by release of dopamine and other pleasurable stuff. Some studies suggest it generally lasts from two weeks to two years. So maybe some of what you are experiencing is just the normal progression of romantic involvement, and by itself does not indicate the relationship is not worthy of further investment.

I very much disagree. Many people don't have the luxury of picking and choosing who to be with, ESPECIALLY straight aspie guys. So unless the new girl is flat-out dangerous and abusive, breaking up with her would be shooting yourself in the foot. It's like not taking water from a well in the middle of the Sahara desert because the pump looks a little rusted.

I think there is a factor error there for neurodiverse people. I'd say from minimum two months up to almost forever (well, at least 10 years).

I wonder if being depressed has something to do with it. Maybe I can't properly love someone else if I don't love myself?

Fully agree with that. Judging from the description, this might be a very special girl. I'd never waste such a chance.

That's a myth NTs like to propagate. I don't know why they keep propagating that myth. Maybe they truly believe it because they have easy, happy lives, with easy-to-find friends and sex partners. So no wonder they can't help but love themselves.

But as an aspie, do NOT buy into this myth. You, being more logically minded, know better. A relationship, even with an average-looking partner of average compatibility, will do wonders for your self-esteem. (Read: make you love yourself.)

Just remember to control your emotions, and don't fall deeply in love with the first girl who goes on a date with you. What's a possible deep commitment to you, may simply be a fun diversion to her. So just enjoy yourself, and good luck with that girl.

I don't have to make a decision now, right? I mean if we could date for a little bit now and I can make a more thought out decision later, that would be ok, wouldn't it?

Absolutely! This is exactly what I meant. Settling down with the first girl to go on a date with you is unrealistic. Date her, enjoy her company, and see where that takes you.

Yeah, just go on more dates, go out and have some fun for now and when you're both ready to make things serious and a deeper level than discuss it...

There's a difference between being desperate and going for the first girl who gives you attention and going for a nice person who you like and who likes you back.

If you are the first one than do your best to become the second.

How do I know if We're ready to take things to a deeper level?