help me understand

Post Reply New Topic

Hi...I am an NT married to an Aspie for 26 years. It has not always been easy, but overall it's been very fun. UNTIL....my husband lost his job and he went into huge debt. I now work full-time plus extra to cover all of our expenses plus his debt and our 3 kids college expenses. Finances are very stressful, but what has me most upset is his relationships with other women. We have lost all intimacy and he continues to have these intense friendships with other women. (several of whom are going through a divorce) We once had an extremely close-knit family and I don't want to lose that, but I am ready to walk out. He is a kind hearted, good person, but he doesn't seem able to see my perspective. Does anyone have any advice/experience to help?

It sounds like he is using these other women to fulfill a need, that he isn't getting with you (I'm not saying this is right, or wrong of him to do so, though). Is the loss of intimacy a mutual thing, or have one of you just lost interest? Was your relationship solid before these other women came into the picture, or did it start to decline afterwards?

Hi....thanks for reply. He is the one who doesn't want any physical contact anymore. He says it's because he can feel my anger. I tell him that I can be angry with his decisions, but I still love him. He doesn't understand that. I think we were pretty solid, even with all of the money issues. It's the issues with the other women that has alienated us. And I think you're right...he likes to be around women who make him feel important..and don't cause him any stress. Who wouldn't?