Have you ever obsessed over a girl/boyfriend?

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PixieXW
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24 Jun 2015, 1:26 pm

Has anyone done this? How did your relationship go on from there? My girlfriend accepts that there may be a possibility I'll obsess over her and is ok with it since she is also an aspie but I still worry that perhaps I'm obsessed with her instead of loving her? Has anyone got any experience?

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rdos
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24 Jun 2015, 1:35 pm

PixieXW wrote:

Has anyone done this? How did your relationship go on from there?

Most of the times I was obsessed with a girl, it didn't end with a real relationship, but the one that did, worked just fine.

PixieXW wrote:

My girlfriend accepts that there may be a possibility I'll obsess over her and is ok with it since she is also an aspie but I still worry that perhaps I'm obsessed with her instead of loving her?

These obsessions are the ultimate form of love. Much more sincere than words only could be. It's easy to lie and tell somebody you love them, but much harder to obsess over them if you don't (I'd say it is even impossible to do so).

Vomelche
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24 Jun 2015, 6:11 pm

here we go again

Spiderpig
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24 Jun 2015, 7:21 pm

I thought the very purpose of boyfriends and girlfriends was to obsess over them.

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sly279
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24 Jun 2015, 10:00 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

I thought the very purpose of boyfriends and girlfriends was to obsess over them.

people nowadays want to be independent and distant but still be bf/gf in name only. It confuses the s**t out of me.

nick007
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25 Jun 2015, 9:07 pm

I was obsessed with my 1st two girlfriends & I screwed both relationships up by getting controlling due to my obsessiveness & anxiety attacks. I did love em both but my obsession was partly due to OCD & Aspie special interest. I started a med for OCD after I screwed my 2nd relationship up & I did not have that problem in my 3rd/current relationship.

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Venger
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25 Jun 2015, 11:29 pm

rdos wrote:

PixieXW wrote:

Has anyone done this? How did your relationship go on from there?

Most of the times I was obsessed with a girl, it didn't end with a real relationship, but the one that did, worked just fine.

lol, that's cause to get a GF the guy usually has to pretend like he doesn't care about getting one for the most part.(i.e. appear to be the opposite of "obsessing")

rdos
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26 Jun 2015, 3:36 am

nick007 wrote:

Beeing obsessed and getting controlling doesn't need to be related. Those are different things. OTOH, if obsession with somebody leads you to becoming controlling, then it's a bad thing, and you might need to work on your behavior. I never had that problem, and I'm not the type that is controlling, so I really love to obsess about girls, and it is no problem for me.

rdos
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26 Jun 2015, 3:41 am

Venger wrote:

rdos wrote:

PixieXW wrote:

Has anyone done this? How did your relationship go on from there?

Most of the times I was obsessed with a girl, it didn't end with a real relationship, but the one that did, worked just fine.

lol, that's cause to get a GF the guy usually has to pretend like he doesn't care about getting one for the most part.(i.e. appear to be the opposite of "obsessing")

That's how many NTs are, yes, but because this is a NT-trait, it's a good way to select-out NTs. :mrgreen:

Most of my early obsessions that didn't lead to real relationships were in my school-years, when I didn't dare to talk to anybody except family. These didn't advance because of that, and not because I was obsessed. The girls seemed pretty fascinated by the whole thing. :-)

Casstranquility
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27 Jun 2015, 2:13 am

I mostly obsessed over only one boyfriend, my first was too short-lived and I never fell in love with my second boyfriend. My third boyfriend, who is my current one, well, all I did was read a few of his posts here on WP and I got hooked. I obsessed over him for a couple of weeks before even sending him a PM. After that I became even more obsessed with reading his every post and hanging on his every word and wanting him to be my rescuer. This obsession lasted a few months and then it slowly faded away, to be replaced by something softer, something calmer, something more rational. It was a lovely obsession and I think it helped me reach past my social anxiety and keep writing to my boyfriend even when I would normally hide myself from everyone else. My obsession with him made him a rock for me during a difficult period of my life. He placed me in a direction of better mental health and I'm on supplements, an antidepressant, and sometimes an anxiety med, now, so I don't really get obsessed about anything anymore. I feel something exciting and passionate in me is lost, but we do have a more stable relationship now that I'm not obsessed with him. I still love him dearly, I just don't want to know what he's doing/thinking/feeling all the time.

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nick007
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29 Jun 2015, 7:57 pm

Casstranquility wrote:

She's talking about me :heart:

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