Did I answer my own question?

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I was having dinner with two friends this weekend, and we were talking about relationships.

I said "I have strict criteria for a boyfriend. I want commitment, but it seems like he [my crush] wants one-night stands and friends with benefits." Was that the answer to my own question about why I have never taken the plunge into a relationship?

Just WHY are some people afraid of commitment? Isn't it a good thing for a potential spouse to want to commit, because it reduces the risk of a breakup? And why is casual sex often discussed with much of the same terminology of committed, heart-and-soul love?

I'm not sure what you mean by this. If you are only seeing someone casually, there is no chance of a break-up because you aren't a couple. The more committed/serious a relationship, the more devastating a breakup would be, generally.

To say that committing lowers the risk of a break-up seems to suggest that with commitment comes "sticking around even if you shouldn't" (basically what the traditional wedding vow declares), which I think is a dangerous and unhealthy idea. So perhaps the reason some people are "afraid" of commitment is because they are afraid of being stuck in a bad relationship, when they should be free to move on and be happier alone or with someone more suitable, if need be.

When I was growing up, in the wake of my parents' divorce, my mother and grandmother told me that divorce/ breaking up was a horrible thing. (the divorce was dad's idea) Because of that, my romantic goal is to not end up like my mother and commit 100% to ensure to my boyfriend, should he exist, that I would never cheat on him or dump him. Isn't that supposed to be good?

And are people seeing each other casually really not considered couples? What if they're being exclusive screw buddies?

And is what I'm asking in the title of the thread true? (how I want commitment, but it looks like my crush wants FWBs and one-night-stands based on what I've heard him say about his past FWBs and desire to get back into Tinder... speaking of Tinder, please reassure me that it's just a hookup app and not something to land long-term relationships) Is he not taking a chance with me yet, even though I would commit to him with all my heart and soul, because of his desire for casual encounters? (he was engaged to one ex of his, who dumped him for her gym partner)