please advise as this is getting me down

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my male friend has aspergers but hasnt had any help with it and refuses to asknowledge it

he is helpful
but while helping me at times he is

shouting or talking loud in my ear giving me headaches and wont talk softer no matter how much i ask him in various ways

bombards me like a horrific machine gun by talking non stop asking questions non stop
bombarding me and he wont shut up no matter how much i tell him that i need him to be quiet
he makes me crazy
he makes me stressed
he leaves me so stressed

he is abusive pressurising me to do thigns faster than what a human can do them
always saying hurry hurry
he is so abusive
and then i'll see him smiling to a stranger and being all nice to them while he pressurises me and is so horrific to me

can anyone give me some suggstions besides RUN FOR MY LIFE ! !! !

CAN ANYONE please give me suggestions of what might get him to listen or understand or realise how horrific his behaviour is

then he innocently says

we fight

with no realisation that its because he comes in like a crazy maniact shouting talking loud talking bombarding non stop and wont shut up and pressurising

any help will be very much appreciated

he once shouted non stop at me in my face i couldnt get him away from me and i couldnt get him to shut up
straight after i had a very serious car crash
this person can sometimes behave ok
and he is helpful
but he can be so horrific too
please any suggestions would be appreciated.
thank you

SAdly, losing someone may be what makes him realize his wrongs - it's what helped someone I knew in high school/college to finally improve when we stopped hanging out. He wasn't an Aspie but had other issues I'd tried to help him with.

However, one thing you can try is role playing. He may not understand that he needs to treat you like that stranger who he is so nice to - perhaps he has this line in his mind and thinks once he knows someone well he can turn off his "controls" that regulate his voice, tone, etc.. When, inf act, he continues to need to use them, just be more moderate in them. he may have just 2 sett9ings he's learned - "friend" and "stranger."

So, if that's the case, suggest to him that he treat you like that stranger who he is so nice to. Then help him to see how he can turn that "vocal tone" regulation down slowly, without turning it off, and then the other things.

At some point, of coruse, you have to realize it might not work, but this is something i would at least try. Not knowing how much education he's had and how much he knows about AS, he may not even realize that he hs a problem putting himself in other's shoes; he may just think he has one setting for you and another for strangers.

At least, that's a good guess.

Leave him.

You could try not reacting to him emotionally. Controlling people usually get their power from getting a reaction out of people. This is not easy to do though, you really have condition yourself. It may give you some middle ground, but such people don't change.

Impatience and endless talking sound like anxiety problems to me. It also sounds like he has some other issues as well.

Advice other than "Run for your life"? I got nuthin'.

Seriously, get out of there. You don't need this.