To the sex-differences deniers on WP.

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There are some users here **cough**yellow Retro others **cough** who believe there's little sex differences - and that most L&D advices can be applied to both women and men seamlessly.

I would call BS on that. It bugs me because this shows ignorance of the surrounding and a burying-head-in-sand attitude.

The more I read (ie. Norah Vincent's book which I read it), the more I observe, the more I experience stuff - the more I realize that women and men live in two entirely different worlds.

Just because most of these differences are socially construct and not biological by any mean, that doesn't make the differences any less significant, the socially constructed differences are real....very real, and no matter how rebellious you are, sometimes you have no choice but to abide by them.

Let's take for example a user asking for advice on online dating - the same advice about this for a man cannot be applied the same for a woman.

It makes no sense to give an advice to a man using okcupid such as: "oh just ignore the ones who send you one-word messages, and reply only to those who seem interesting" - a typical guy on okcupid rarely receives any initial messages to begin with!
On the other hand, it makes no sense at all to tell a woman using okcupid: "Oh, it's a number game, you need to message as much guys as possible in order to get dates" - a typical woman there would receive tons of message so there's no need to message tons of guys.

This is a fine example of a very strong SEX DIFFERENCE due to social constructivism- There's nothing biological that prevents girls to be the initiators on a dating site, there's nothing biological that prevent guys to be the 'waiting' ones - yet this difference persists and real. The sex ratio on dating sites is real too, yet there's nothing biological that prevent girls to use them more or for guys to use them less.

So see? The whole dynamics are different, no same advices can be given to employers and to job seekers. The expectations differ greatly, the dynamics differ greatly, the fears differ greatly, ...etc, most are due to society but they are very real nevertheless.

So how do you explain yourselves, deniers?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 Jul 2015, 6:27 am, edited 2 times in total.

But online dating is a very peculiar case, I don't think it can be held as an example. Most people don't even use it (and there's a reason).

It was just an example, take anything offline you want, bar? university? Courting in real life? There are a lot of advices that cannot be applied exactly and perfectly seamlessly on both genders.

I think the main reason why men send messages is the gender ratio. If men could afford not to initiate, they wouldn't send as many messages. In the same way, if gender ratio was opposite, women would get less messages and would send more messages to men. It's all connected.

I noticed that on a local religious dating site there's a lot more women than men. I not only get more replies there, but also get approached from time to time. That didn't happen on any other site.

I figure we are talking about initiation and being "the one who waits". I think nowadays things are getting better. You can see in this forum too that some guys are getting hit on by women, and come here to ask for advice.
I think that perhaps women need a little bit of confidence with the man to initiate (so they are less likely to approach a stranger in a bar), but still I am not so sure of that. I don't go to discos and stuff but from what people tell me some women are quite bold.

Wow I wish there were a site like that here too.

It doesn't only stop at the initiating/waiting thing.

I'm with you, Boo. Men and women were made DIFFERENT. I do acknowledge that both men and women CAN be initiators equally and that it's not necessary to say that men can only function in this role or only women can function in that/those role(s). But I'm just not convinced that gender roles are purely a social construct, either. Certain folks can yell and scream all they want, but men and women are complementary in their relationship to each other. That means no male/female pair will ever be perfectly equal in every capacity, that women will be superior to men in some ways and men will be superior in other ways. I, for one, see differences and advantages as something to be celebrated and exploited as a way of moving forward together for the mutual benefit.

Maybe there is. For us aspies it's a good idea to find a niche instead of going with a mainstream place like OKC.

I don't see why any male Aspie/HFA in his right mind would try an NT-Oriented Medium like OKC for Social-Interaction. Honestly, you are better off playing Multi-Player Video-Games, probably, like, even Fnord got his wife as a result of a girl who got interested in him for some reason in some on-line multi-player I think it was an MMORPG (was it in World of War-Craft I don't particularly remember) and kept on stalking him for like an entire year or so before she decided to pursue & latch onto him.

I'm not a "denier."

I'm a, "Gender-roles-are-not-as-simple-and-clear-cut-as-some-people-here-think."

Actually, if anything, I think some male posters would do well to stop thinking that women should interpret social situations exactly like smaller, less hairy versions of men.......

Been there. I think you have a high chance of getting catfished that way, as it happened to me.

what site is this

also from what I see most people use dating sites now. its esier and less time consuming for nts who have long hard jobs that take up most their time.

so few women talk on games. well so few people talk on games anymore, but women never did. soon as a female voice is heard or even male child which sounds female, men start going all at them trying to get some action. also they'll likely to be very far away even if you do meet one. video games is a horrible terrible place to try to get dates.

on the other had I got 8 dates from okc. pretty much all my dates. except 1 which i got with a friend of a lady I met on okc. so really all my dates and all my female contact happen because of okcupid.

Yes men and women are different, so what of it?

@314pe
>I noticed that on a local religious dating site there's a lot more women than men. I not only get more replies there, but also get approached from time to time. That didn't happen on any other site.

It's probably because churches get more women than men. I've been to churches where there were definitely 60-70% women 30-40% men, but also there are more older people than younger in churches. Younger people are more likely to be athiests.

In 2010/11 I looked up the official (UK gov) statistics for the ratio of men to women, and got a chart showing that at every age range, the ratio is 1:1. However, there are a lot more people 45-65 years old than 20-30 years.

REALLY? In America most people use dating site? Here almost none, most people don't need it. Could it be that you only use dating sites so you have a distorted perception of the number of people? I'm not trying to put you down, I just can't believe that. I think that even the majority of these people on dating sites get most of their dates from real life.