A question for the guys!

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You can either answer hypothetically, or based on your ltr/'s.

Are you happy for your relationship to not be an entirely equal partnership? Would you be happy to support a partner who doesn't/can't work? Would you be happy to have more responsibilities than your partner?

The reason I ask is because I've been trying to get back into work for the last 18 months, but it just hasn't been a viable option for me so far. I feel guilty about this, because it means my partner has the pressure of earning enough to support us both, and I'm not pulling my weight. He says that he's happy even if I can never work, and that I do enough just by doing the housework/laundry/cooking/childcare etc.

Should I feel guilty that I'm not fulfilling the same role as him? I love him very much and don't want him to be under extra pressure because of me.

Honestly I'd feel uneasy if my partner did less than me.
However this is highly hypothetical since I've never been in a relationship.

For me the person is far more important than the circumstances in which they find themself in. If he says that he's ok with the situation then I wouldn't stress too much. Especially if he knows you are trying to change it. And just because you are not working at the moment doesn't mean your relationship is not equal.

But to more directly answer your question, I would be just fine with supporting a spouse who is out of work.

Nah—she’d get bored and cheat on me.

Equal partnership isn't only about equal income/jobs.

If both have equal amount of work and do equal amount of housework - that's equal partnership.

If the less-working/non-working partner does more housework than the more-working partner, that would be equal partnership too.

If you both agree to this, who am I to judge?

If I didn't have to do housework while I worked outside the home, I'd be happy in a situation where a woman does the housework.

My relationship with my late wife was totally co-equal, as far as work and in the home went. We worked together, with me being the professional gardener and her interfacing with people. When she got sick, our professional life changed, but not our love. She could no longer work, either at home, or on the jobsite. Didn't matter. Love conquers all.

Two things: I think you should trust your partner when he says he's fine with it, and assuming he makes enough to support your household on his income alone, I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty. Assuming, of course, that you're both comfortable with the oh so dreaded traditional gender roles.

Secondly: if you're unhappy with "just" doing the domestic work, try to spruce them up a bit. I'm a guy who lives alone in a large apartment, and I like to keep a clean and tidy home (I just wish I was better at it), so I'd be perfectly happy with not having to worry about cooking, cleaning and laundry when I come home. But if you want to make some extra effort as a show of affection and appreciation, try some cool new recipes, make him tasty lunchboxes (if he uses them), maybe clean a little extra thoroughly and show some extra love to his clothes when doing the laundry (you can tell from the detailed description that I'm a master launderer... ). Far be it from me to say you don't do the chores well enough, but I'm sure the little extra touches will not go unnoticed.

My wife's brother in Trinidad still makes ice cream from scratch.