Over the summer, I went to a youth program for teaching English overseas, where I fell hard for my teaching partner. She was an Aspie, but I didn't know it at the time; I just thought she was a quirky girl who enjoyed teasing me and occasionally getting physically close to me (elbows, arms, feet touching etc.). On the second-to-last day of the program, I asked her out with a note. She later took me aside and explained to me, in person, that she had just been diagnosed with Asperger's last year, and a number of the personality traits I found attractive were part of the exaggerated persona she put on in an attempt to be neurotypical. She rejected a relationship with me, while emphasizing that the rejection had nothing to do with me, and that because she had Asperger's, she didn't want to start anything right now, and that she would like to stay in touch.
I assumed, at first, this meant that I should only be platonic friends with her and never try and push her any further. However, after the rejection, she made an explicit effort to get even closer to me. I'm not sure if I read her right, but sometimes I could've sworn she was trying to flirt with me, like when she was leaning her chair back into me to talk when she could've just turned around.
It's been 2 months since the camp was over. Since then, I've been trying to learn as much about Asperger's as possible, from books, other Aspies, and the web, in hopes of better understanding who she really is. I still have strong feelings for her, but I don't know if she feels the same, because we don't talk face-to-face (we live on different continents), and she's more-or-less completely dropped her neurotypical act when she talks to me. The only indicator of possible romantic interest I have is that she still teases me with very childish insults whenever the opportunity comes up. We've met up a couple times on her favourite online game, where we go on quests together and she tells me why I am a noob.
I don't know if I should think of this as a great friendship, or if I should just move on. I don't want to get all my hopes up about being in a relationship with her when that's not what she wants--and I don't want to go after other girls if she does actually like me. Should I move on? Or should I wait and ask her out later? How long should I wait to ask her out again?
18 Sep 2015, 9:59 pm
