Jeolousy feelings when I see a girl PLEASE READ

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Today I was at the bus terminal waiting for the bus to come to take me home. The girl I am in love with came walking up to the terminal as well. She was walking with another guy. They were walking side by side, though they were not holding hands. Occassional the boy she was with would glance over at me and I couldn't understand why. The point is when I saw her with this boy I was infuriated. Jeolousy ran through me and I wanted to go up to her and hurt her. I don't know why I felt this I just did. I have acted out on jeolousy before towards this girl calling her deragatory names and even pushed her which led to an irreparable dent in any possible relation I had with her.

My question is, why do I care if I see her with another guy?

And should I go up to her and tell her I love her and the only reason why I said mean things to her because it was out of jeolousy?

If you insulted her and pushed her, she would have to be insane or masochistic to want any kind of relationship with you. You don't love her, you're obsessed with her. It's a very different thing. The guy probably glanced over at you because you were staring or because your body language betrayed your jealousy.

I strongly advise you to forget about her. Completely. She's not yours, she never will be. Move on.

Nope, not obsessed with her. How do I help her to forgive me there must be a way.

Were you close friends with her?

No. And all this was done in september (insults) and november (pushing). She did make attempts to talk to me but I had mixed feelings about her motvies. I see I may have been wrong.

Actually I have no close friends, period.

Look, being jealous to the point where you would call her names and push her is not healthy. It's very VERY not healthy. For her sake and yours, you should not have a relationship with this girl. And even if you could apologize and get her to forgive you, the relationship is scarred- as it SHOULD be if you did that.

If you were never close friends with her, then you do not love her. You do not know her well enough to love her. It's an obsession. People do that. People see qualities they like in someone, and in their minds they fill in the blanks. In their minds they create a person they can love, and in fact can't help but love.

Look at this from the point of view of a third party. You were never close friends with this girl. You called her names and you pushed her. And yet, you think you love her. You're so jealous that if you see her walk around and get on a bus with a guy- she's not even holding his hand and for all you know the guy is her brother- you go on the forums here and make a post about it.

Seriously man, if I was her I would be scared of you. I would want a restraining order.

Why am I obsessed with her? I shouldn't be. That's the whole point.

Okay, I dont love her. I just want to go out with her. However, in my defense. She did push me early than denied it and was making fun of me to an extent which made me retaliate. However, she said she just pummbed into me and apolagized, and also said she was defending me from other people that were bullying me. I didn't believe but I should have.

If your not willing to help me dont post.

I dunno. Why are any of the people here obsessed with anything? When I get obsessed with things it's because it gives me a sense of order. If I can understand just this one thing- if I can really understand it, completely and thoroughly, and surround myself with it, then the world can make sense.

People are different though. We get obsessed with people because we need social contact- we need friends and loves- but we Aspies are not so good at making and keeping good relationships.

When we see someone who has qualities we like, we're not very good at getting to know them better. So we fill in the blanks. We imagine all their other qualities, and we fall in love with this mostly-imaginary person. We don't have many other social contacts to temper our interest in that one person, so we get obsessed.

Sound familiar?

Jealousy is a whole different kind of anger. Jealousy is about possession. YOU DON'T OWN HER.

She does have a brother at our school. Its possible.

Why are you accusing me of being sick? I have a councillor who knows about my fixation. Its just difficult to shake it. I just want to know why I feel this way when I shouldn't. I am sorry if I made you feel unconfortable.

Look, I'm not trying to hurt you. I just think it's very very important that you realize a few things:

1. She does not belong to you or to anyone else but herself

2. Girls don't forgive boys for pushing them and calling them bad names unless they have the kind of chronic low self-esteem issues you see in abusive relationships

3. It's not love, it's obsession

4. That level of jealousy is both socially unacceptable and dangerous

I am not telling you these things to hurt or upset you. I am telling you these things because it sounds to me like your relationship with this girl would never work- I'm sorry but it's hopeless- and it would be most painless if you let it go now rather than later.