To date an other aspie or not to date another aspie.

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I'm 22, never had an official boyfriend. Had small romances, had crushes, no boyfriend. I notice whenever I have a crush it goes HARD. I know it's because I'm not used to guys being flirty and nice to me, because that was always the case. I've become more mindful of that now that I'm a little older. I would like very much to date another Aspie, I feel like I would have a great personal connection with another Aspie because of similar ways of thinking and feeling in this world. However, I know a lot of men on the spectrum have the same issue I have when we have a crush to the point it is unhealthy, I don't want that in a partner.
I know now that love is so much more than your euphoria for another person, it's based on the actions you take to be respectful, kind, patient, supportive, willing to make compromise, and giving strength to your partner and giving them what they need. It's because of the last strong infatuation I had that I was lucky enough to learn all of this.

The physical part of relationships have always been an issue as well. I have friends who think I'm a lesbian because I've never had a boyfriend and you-know-what, don't flirt much ect.

I'm aware that a lot of Aspies see the way I do when it comes to love, but I'm worried I'll run into someone like the old me if I try to date, whether they're Autistic or not. I don't have anything against them, I wish them the best, but I'd like to meet someone who who feels the way I do when it comes to love. Thoughts? I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

I humbly believe what you're referring to is a hopeless romantic, and it's purely a coincidence if someone with Asperger's is one - I don't think we're any more or less inclined to be one, and it is a fact many of us are the exact opposite and have little to no interest in a relationship.

I happen to be on the hopeless romantic side of things, but aren't desperate and would never settle for less, and you shouldn't either.

Hopeless romantics aren't inherently bad, true, but a mismatch in two people's wants/needs isn't going to end well.

I'd say yes, if you're interested in other aspies, go for it. Don't settle for the hopeless romantics if you come across any, as people who aren't hopeless romantics aren't as rare as you think.

Hm, I think it's infatuation that she's worried about actually. People who instantly treat the other like they're their whole world and etc. Nothing wrong with romantics/hopeless romantics, which is what I think she is going for based on the traits she listed. It sounds like a solid plan if it does work out. I wish you luck.

Ding ding ding!! Yes, and thank you.

Ain't nothing wrong with hopeless romantics, it just guys that consistently worship the ground I walk on for unimportant reasons. I love the idea of being in strong love, however, if someone is willing to throw away their dignity and self respect, and just treat me like a spoiled princess and not a partner to share actual mutual respect with, I'm gonna have to say no. Infatuation has a tendency to make you blind to the other persons faults, I want someone to see my faults and accept them, or help me get through them in a positive, supportive way. To be warmly honest with me if I mess up in some way. Not like with dumb stuff like lack of wearing makeup or something like that. I believe love takes time and work, and infatuation wants the oppisite.

The spectrum population is just as diverse as the NT population in terms of romantic emotion. I say just meet people and discover who you mesh with and who you don't.

I used to be like that, now I'm very careful and intentional about not being like that. Some part of me died and was reborn after the first girl said no, and I'd rather not relive that process.