I'm wondering if any other children of aspie parents have had the same kind of "instant comfort" feelings when dating someone on the spectrum. If anyone out there can relate to any of this I'd love to talk about it.
I'm beginning to notice a pattern in my life (I'm 29/F) where I've had a lot of people in the spectrum in my life OR other NTs who also have aspies in their lives. I'm drawn to this kind of person I think.
In dating, I have an open but committed relationship to my girlfriend, coming up on a year we've been together. I do still struggle to communicate with her sometimes. She is just baffling, but goodness I love her from the core of me. I have had to learn SELF assurance because she hates repeating herself, so the words I hope to hear don't come easy to her ("yes, I love you so much, I am happy with you, I enjoy all our time together") even though she certainly SHOWS me this stuff constantly.
For example yesterday, I was working from home from her house (something we love to do together; working on our laptops next to each other I get so motivated to get everything done because she works so hard). I was behind on stuff so I kept working long past five when we normally stop. But she stayed in the room where we work with me instead of going into the living room like we always do in the evenings. Then this morning when I got up early to resume working, she got up too and just came to sit in the work room and then fell asleep in her chair (which she loves doing), again just to be near me.
This is stuff I have to really scrutinize and keep track of, because she doesn't seem able to just say out loud that she likes to be with me and makes facial expressions and even says things that really FEEL like maybe she's not enjoying being around me, and that makes me feel insecure. Instead I have had to really learn to be more self-assured.
Anyway that's a start, I hope someone can relate and offer any similar experiences or insights.
20 Mar 2016, 12:47 am
