I've been a member (lurker) of w.p. for about a year and a half, even since I met the man who has quickly become one of my best friends and greatest loves of my life thus far.
I am a science teacher with a degree in neurobiology and upon meeting my aspie I quickly knew sometime was different and special with him. We have had a great relationship for over a year and unfortunately he has hit a burn out point. I know you wrong planet members have answered so many can we make it work questions before but I am feeling so low. Please entertain my unique situation. I will try to be concise.
First the good.
1) physical connection - we both agree we had the most hands down passionate physical connection either of us has ever experienced
2) our kids - his son (9), my daughter (7) like playing together
3) we are both logical and respectful toward each other and agree on many things. I try to be flexible if we don't agree and I feel being stubborn will cause him stress - I'm ok with "going with the flow" to make him comfortable.
4) neither of us lost interest or cheated - big for him (he has a history of cheating when he gets bored)
5) friendship - we really like spending time together - I don't resent his ocd nature or strict adherence to routine, in fact I find it comforting to know exactly what to expect.
The bad
1) he ended it - he wanted to end it as we had become serious (which he didn't intend - he started this thinking it would be a fling). He said he feels I deserve things he could never give me or anyone else.
2) the ex - he still cares about his sons mom (they have been seperated for many years - I feel from her perspective she would not be open to a reunion)
3) age difference - he is almost 20 years older (he says this is an issue - though im the same age as his sons mother and he was (reluctantly) going to marry her - though he now would willingly as he feels it best for his son)
4) priorities - I'm attempting to go back to professional school of some kind (dental or pharmacy) - it's a long, expensive road and he doesn't feel he can be the support structure I will need during this endeavor
5) emotional disconnect - I need people and would eventually like a traditional married relationship. He has had 3 failed long term relationships and doesnt want to risk losing money or emotional pain through another failed marriage. Plus he says he never misses anyone- though his actions speak differently.
When we had the "end it" conversation he was adamant that he didn't want to "break up" bit rather float apart as we had floated together. He wants to leave it an open possibility for the future. Unfortunately, this uncertainty is far harder for me to accept than if he just ended it. I'm left wondering how long I should wait for him. I do love him deeply and would completely take him back of he wanted it.
19 Mar 2016, 6:06 pm
