Importance of driving/transport in a relationship?

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LimboMan
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25 Mar 2016, 4:51 pm

I am hopeful to be in a first relationship sooner rather than later as I have never experienced one before. But there's a big worry that I have rooted inside me, which is about driving and transport within a relationship. I've posted in depth about this before not long ago, but I'm 20 years old and don't drive. I tried to learn but had a miserable experience and felt dangerous almost as I don't know how I'd ever be able to develop the situational awareness required for the skill.
But I am deeply concerned about how being unable to drive will affect possible future relationships, or whether I should keep trying learning to drive.

Where I live it has got good transport where you can only go so far, and a cab service (no Uber)
Its a small town though, and for young people there's really little to do, apart from the odd pub or bar. But I'm worried when it comes to dating, my options are going to be minuscule. Like I would be really unsure on what would be a nice date, as there's not much to do. I suppose I could increase my chances of dating living away at University in the city where there's lot to do with excellent transport, however its very expensive and if it all goes wrong I will waste money and will have an impact on my studies, something I don't want in my third year.

So if I stay at home living with my parents and brother, do you recommend me to try and learn to drive again? And your opinion on the importance of transport in a relationship?
That's another thing as I live with parents I can't invite a girl over to mine or anything as they're always here. Living away where the university has lots of young people and things to do could be an option, but I'm concerned of the living conditions and adjusting living away whilst doing lots of work.


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kraftiekortie
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25 Mar 2016, 4:54 pm

I would try to learn to drive again.

But only have a licensed driver with you. And stick to your own neighborhood. And don't drive at night at first.



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25 Mar 2016, 5:01 pm

Try to learn to drive again.

Unless you live in an urban environment, entertainment will be limited.

A guy in a small town needs to drive his girl to the Big City if he wants to make a good impression.

If you don't, some other guy will.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Mar 2016, 3:38 am

Whenever you see couples in cars, it's usually the guy who's behind the wheel - like 8 or 9 times out of 10 (and yes, even in Europe).

So you, as a male, have no
other option but to learn to drive.



nurseangela
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26 Mar 2016, 3:51 am

I agree with all above.


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JaneBuss
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26 Mar 2016, 1:30 pm

Try to learn to drive again. But if it doesn't work out, not driving really isn't the end of the world -- my boyfriend had no car when we met, so I picked him up for dates and stuff. It wasn't a big deal.



nick007
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26 Mar 2016, 4:34 pm

Being able to drive will improve your chances if your able to learn but it's not a requirement for every girl. Neither me nor my girlfriend drives. We never done the whole going on dates thing thou. We were long-distance so we spent lots of time chatting & when we were together offline before moving in together, when we were at her place we hung out a lot & went walking but there weren't really any specif places we could walk to & do stuff cuz she lived in the smallest city in the US. I lived with my parents so when she came over & when we go visit my parents together(which is 1ce a year) we hang out together in my room or we go in the backyard. We still spend a lot of time hanging out together sense we moved in together. We live in a bigger city than she lived in before so there are a couple places we walk to & we take the bus to go to other places but most of the places we go to are places we need to go so we're not going for fun or anything. I guess it works for us sense we're both introverted. We do occasionally go for walks together just to go for walks.


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Fnord
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26 Mar 2016, 4:51 pm

As they say in Los Angeles: "He Who Walks, Walks Alone!"

Learn to drive or accept being single for the rest of your life.


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Grammar Geek
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26 Mar 2016, 5:46 pm

Fnord, why do you have to be so condescending? Didn't you read the above posts where people said they found relationships even though they didn't drive? It can help your chances with a relationship, but as others have pointed out, it's not a requirement.



Fnord
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26 Mar 2016, 5:51 pm

Grammar Geek wrote:
Fnord, why do you have to be so condescending? ...
I gave my opinions, based on my personal experiences. That they conflict with the experiences of others is irrelevant.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Mar 2016, 6:06 pm

Fnord is being realistic.

No car hurts dating chances a lot, especially for guys.



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26 Mar 2016, 6:22 pm

Thanks, Boo.

Political correctness is going too far when being realistic is looked down upon, and idealistic fantasies are upheld as the "truth".

:roll:


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kraftiekortie
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26 Mar 2016, 6:43 pm

It would be to his benefit, in many ways, to learn to drive.

It should be pointed out, however, that I have been able to get into all my relationships, including my marriage, without even knowing how to drive.

It should also be pointed out that New York is a place where one really doesn't need a car.

I would suggest, strongly, learning to drive...but I wouldn't lose hope if you don't.



JaneBuss
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26 Mar 2016, 6:46 pm

A car helps, no doubt, but the lack of one isn't necessarily a dealbreaker. (In LA or Houston? More likely to be a dealbreaker, since public transit doesn't really exist. In Manhattan or London? Not at all, as most adults neither drive nor own cars).



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26 Mar 2016, 7:17 pm

Fnord and The_Face_of_Boo are right. Lack of a car was the main reason why I got into a relationship was just plain bad, with someone I wasn't even slightly attracted to, and was bored silly around her. It was my first relationship ever: she showed interest, I responded in kind. But the only reason I kept seeing her after a bad first date is that I thought no other girl will ever like me without a car. The only reason I could give for liking her is that "she doesn't care that I don't drive".



kraftiekortie
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26 Mar 2016, 7:35 pm

You should at least try to learn to drive.

What's stopping you?