Marriage and Autism

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Is anyone married to someone with autism? I am looking to share experiences.

I'm a married man.

There are many married people here.

I get so aggravated when my wife says things like "Why can't you think like normal people?"

I want to get perspective, I want to better recognize when my husband wants to be alone and when he doesnt, I want to provide him with an environment that he enjoys and doesnt feel stifuled in, I want to understand why he says some of the things he does.

Today we were having a conversation on comparing countries around the world based on how they treat their citizens and if any country can be considered 'good' (and implications/associations of that). Towards the end I said that I am basing my argument on the acts of countries within the past year, and he replied saying thats disrespectful to his intellect because the new definition was brought on so late in my argument, and how its indicative of our relationship.

I am engaged and believe my fiance and I to have a very good relationship, however I am the ND one.

I think the biggest reason we succeed is we refrain from degrading the other. She has never once wished I thought like everyone else, and I am actually encourage to voice my opinion. Often this requires me to think carefully before I speak and she will not make a big deal out of my silence or lack of eye contact as she knows I am processing.

I wish I didn't but sometimes I do say stupid things. If I say something that has upset her, she will tell me how and why it made her feel that way and so far it was never meant the way it was taken, and I take responsibility for that and attempt to understand how I can avoid doing it again.

I am never made to feel small or stupid which has given me 100% trust in her and allowed me to open up and try to tell her how I am feeling and what I need as well as make sure she is happy. However this doesn't mean she always understands, but she always tries as I try to always understand her feelings and emotions.

In regards to your conversation on comparing countries I know that would have upset me.
Imagine you are playing a game of chess and in the heat of the game, it is announced that pawns can now teleport and have machine guns. Your whole strategy is out the window. It is now a different game.

Although this would have upset me, I would have explained this to my partner instead of assuming she had purposely upset me and lashing out. Once you can both understand that neither of you are out to hurt / disrespect / upset each other then things become easier with time.

It's Important to remember that it goes both ways, you have trouble understanding him and he will also have trouble understanding you, your brains think differently.