Fear of being judged in social media?

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LimboMan
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01 Jul 2016, 10:04 am

I am really fearful of being judged by people because of my lack of use with social media, and worried they will see me to be an oddball, suspicious or some creep. This is especially true with women because I will put myself out there to be dating soon.
I do not have any personal Twitter or Instagram, Snapchat accounts etc. because I am concerned about privacy/cyberbullying and because I don't feel my life is as interesting enough to share. I only have accounts on these where I follow certain companies/figures but never any pictures of myself.
I do have a Facebook but I don't use it much and don't have many friends there. I do not have any pictures with friends or many pictures at all of my life - I do have friends but my social life is very quiet compared to some other people, with their hundreds and thousands of friends. I rarely take any photos. I've had my fair share of Facebook accounts, permanently deleting them to be busy with other tasks - only to conclude I'll look like a axe murderer if I don't have a online presence so it dosen't give a detailed timeline of my life and events growing up.

But I'm always self conscious about this. I use FB a lot to see what people are doing and looking at the lives they are living which is probably not good for my self esteem. I am worried I will meet someone, they will look at my profile and think what is he doing, he doesn't have a job, any family, he doesn't share his life, nothing. It seems many people meet each other through online platforms now days and young people my age make the most of that but not me because of privacy fears and anxiety about using them. I do have interests and hobbies, but I don't choose to share them as they feel personal.

Is this something to worry about? As said my profile is very bare, just filled with the occasional phoney status update to make myself not appear dormant. Especially with women. I am concerned they will judge me for this.

Thanks


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hurtloam
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01 Jul 2016, 1:31 pm

Don't worry about it. Most blokes have quite bare profiles.

As long as you're contactable that's the main thing.



Sweetleaf
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01 Jul 2016, 5:35 pm

I don't have much on my profile and don't really post often, and if anything I just don't get much attention on facebook which I don't really care about. Also people aren't going to care enough to psychoanalyze you over not having a crap ton of stuff showing about your personal life and what you do on your free time....or don't post much. I don't think many people really go on checking peoples profile for details and cyber bullying anyone with a lack of them. If anything it's probably easier to have less facebook popularity...I know my brother and a mutual friend of ours have gotten hacked multiple times and they are quite popular on facebook. basically the more visible/active you are the more likely you'll get negative attention...and the less visible/active you are the less drama you'll be exposed to.


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Jacoby
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01 Jul 2016, 9:01 pm

I've always stayed away from social media for the same reasons, I always felt it was a competition on who has the most friends or awesome social life. It really is one of the dreadful things this internet 2.0 brought in, people were a lot more friendly and interesting beforehand but maybe that's just rose colored glasses I dunno. I don't look at social media, I don't see that point unless you have a social life worthy of broadcasting which I obviously don't but I guess I've probably ruined relationships with this reluctance. I don't keep in contact with anybody, I don't really consider my extended family my family anymore, it's a very isolating existence.



Outrider
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01 Jul 2016, 9:21 pm

I know what you mean, but it's not as bad as you think it is.

Most people don't care either way and those that do care about your low friend count or post count or a facebook that otherwise makes you not look very social aren't worth your time.

If anything for me personally it's a turn-off when a girl has a facebook with a ridiculously high number of friends, especially males her age (the jealousy factor sets in a little there) and gets about 50 likes every time she posts a picture, and she posts lots of selfies or pictures of her at the beach/in her bikini/etc.

Ugh.

Don't worry, it's nothing to really be concerned about. For all people know you could be too busy with a real-life social life to have time for facebook. :lol:

"It really is one of the dreadful things this internet 2.0 brought in, people were a lot more friendly and interesting beforehand but maybe that's just rose colored glasses I dunno."

Another big issue is online dating.

I personally can't stand online dating already and find it difficult to develop any sort of motivation for it.

That's fine, and my personal choice.

What the problem is, is that other people DO use online dating, so that cute chick who's number you got at that cafe the other day? She's got at least 4 males on Tinder who have asked her out on the back-burner.

You can choose not to use online dating, but those you come across in real-life likely do, thus lowering your chances as they have access to more people and opportunity.

i've heard it can be quite bad in New York City, where the dating pool is so large, less people end up together.



slw1990
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02 Jul 2016, 1:56 am

I don't have a facebook account or anything because I use to know some really controlling and manipulative bullies that would seem to follow me around. I wouldn't feel very comfortable with those kind of people knowing what's going on in my life, especially since some have already tried to come in contact with me. It just doesn't seem like it's really worth to me.



Drone232
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05 Jul 2016, 2:05 pm

I hate and love facebook. My parents and extended family are really into facebook and post things all the time and I have a profile, but only by association since they said I should have one. Only know that I am trying to date do I see the positives of having a profile and of being able to see other's profiles. I can see a description of a person I'm interested in and all the things they like and also have something in my profile descritpion so they can learn about me. Social anxiety prevents me ever posting anything since I know everyone will be able to see to see it and judge me by it. But I still keep my descritpions and interests updated for people to see.


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