Demisexual

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Does anyone else fit into the demisexual category? I know some people don't see it as a serious orientation but finding out about it has answered some questions about myself.

Growing up I would hear people calling strangers 'hot' and get so confused, how can you find them attractive if you don't know them? You must have feelings for them?
Also confused me if I was in a relationship and my partner would call someone else attractive, I get jealous and insecure because I associate physical attraction with emotional attraction and don't understand how you can have one without the other.
Thanks.

I'm at least somewhat of a demisexual, yes.

And am more of a demisexual now than I was when I was younger.

I feel that physical lust and a emotional connection go hand in hand.

I'm not a particularly big fan of categories in orientation, as I find that sort of things gets too top-down.

I seem to have two modes of attraction. One is getting to know someone's mind. If I feel/make a strong mental connection with someone, as long as I don't find them physically offputting, I'll feel some desire to have sex with them.

The other is based on appearance. There are certain aesthetics I really like, that I find/assume to be indicative of certain characteristics, and I'll feel a romantic pull toward that person. At a distance, I can fantasise about being romantic with them (including, but not limited to, plenty of sex). But if I get to know that person, and they turn out to be not what I expected or hoped for or find interesting, they become essentially not attractive. Though still plenty nice to look at, I'm no longer romantically (and so sexually) interested in them.

I do find some women aesthetically pleasing to look at but I never desired to have sex outside of a serious romantic relationship. I am sexually attracted to my girlfriend but I don't really get sexual attraction otherwise.

I am. I thought it was typical and most people thought that way. Nope...

I think the big issue is: What is "attractive"? Especially from the POV of asexual people. At least for me, physical attractivity is related to physical appearance (being good-looking), and has no emotional or personality dimension. I would call somebody attractive even if I knew she had a bad personality, and I won't call somebody attractive that is not "good-looking" even if she has a fabulous personality. Then there is the romantic perspective. Even if attractivity plays some role as to whom I would flirt with, as long as she is above a certain minimum level, attractivity plays no role in whom I would regard as a potential romantic partner. Here, it is all about compatibility and personality traits, and looks plays no role. I wouldn't call the latter "attractivity". I'm not "attracted" to a partner, I'm infatuated and/or attached, which is all that matters.

i don't know.. if the woman CAN'T make me aroused because she is not sexy. then she can **** off. i would never want to know her
. i would better befriend my cousin or something.


yes i would probably love/care about a girl and everything because she is a good person, but still i would feel grossed out to kiss her if i wasn't physically attracted to her lips. sad but true.

to be honest life is too short for being with someone u r not physically attracted to.

I can't open myself up to someone I don't know and doesn't mean anything to me. I would never pursue a complete stranger.

I'm not fond of labels much either. Besides, I find I changed in life in different phases. Certain tendencies come to the fore and then recede in cycles. Think about the money dumped into label makers. What is called Demisexual, has certainly been a prime element in my makeup. I have only made love to women I cared about, in serial relationships. I have never just had sex.

But I feel that one should never speak about being attracted to other women, or that they are attractive, in the presence of your partner, or in a way that will get back to them. One may not be able to prevent having such thoughts, but expressing them is a form of disrespect and usually will only foster insecurity, sometimes grave insecurity. The same goes both ways.

I cannot be physically attracted to someone unless I am emotionally bonded with them first. If they do not capture my heart, they won't capture anything else either. LOL. Looks don't mean anything to me, and my blindness has nothing to do with it. There are some shallow blind people out there. I just happen to fall into a different category. As long as they smell good, and are not dirty, we're all good. LOL.