valene92 wrote:
I was wondering when aspie men are hurt in relationships do they typically ignore their former significant other for a long period of time? How does a non aspie woman regain their trust if the aspie man has insecurities of himself and trust issues of girls
I think it will depend on a lot more about his personality and experience than just his being aspie. One could make an argument that the emotional life is perhaps that bit more bewildering for aspies, and so we can take longer to deal with stuff, but I'm wary of painting with broad strokes. So yes, more details would be helpful.
Personally, where possible I cut people out. I cannot deal with the amount of ambivalence in the idea of still being acquaintences (or even friends) after, and so burn bridges by ghosting. It stops the hope/possibility of getting back together hanging over me.
I'm generally trusting, but any wariness could only be dispelled through time. If I don't want to be with someone, I won't. If I'm with someone, it's because I want to be. In my head, I could lie to someone about how I feel about them, or being showy and grandstanding about my affections, but my seeking out and enjoying their company, valuing their thoughts and insight - I can't fake that, so it's that that underpins and makes clear how I feel about them.
No amount of promises or shows of affection etc can replace my being able to observe someone as trustworthy.
Now, where someone is neurotically insecure, that's something that really has to be dealt with by them. They need to work through it in whatever way makes sense to them and helps them. Aspies are painted as being more 'rational', but I see this inclination put as much to use rationalising our thoughts and behaviour as I do in examining our ideas and seeking a clearer understanding of something.
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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.
You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.