Debriefing

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Today I dated a girl. How did things go? It's too early to tell. I didn't even kiss her. Maybe that's normal. Only one time have I ever kissed a girl on a first date. Anyway this girl seems especially shy. Her personality is like mine but without the mirth. Compared to my most recent girlfriend her personality is lacking that fun factor. Then again my most recent girlfriend was mentally unstable. This girl is very practical and straight-forward and mentally stable. At least I think she's mentally stable. She's very shy. Does shyness count as mental instability?

I think I'll never meet a girl who was as much fun as my ex but her madness caused her to hurt me emotionally. This new girl is not bad but she lacks passion for life. It's not that I expect her to have passion for me but she should have passian for something. Don't you think a girl is more attractive when she has a hobby?

She's never watched Star Trek. We must find a common interest. We went to a restaurant and next week we'll go to another reaustarnt. We must find some common interest aside from the conventional dating fare. Perhaps overtime we'll warm up to eachother but it's difficult because I've never dated a girl this shy. Ex used to make all the first moves when we first started dating but with a shy girl I can no longer count on that.

Due to social anxiety she says she'll never move in with another person. At first I thought this sounded sad. Living with your partner should be a wonderful thing, right? But what if she's right? When I had a housemate I hated it. She says she needs alone time and perhaps I do too. Maybe having someone I just see on weekends would actually be better for me.

What do you think? Does living in the same house as your partner make you go mad from lack of privacy? Does seeing eachother everyday make you grow bored with eachother faster?

I wouldn't kiss a girl on the first date. She's basically a stranger, no?

You say she has no hobbies, so what exactly does she spend her time doing then? Meditating?

Surfing the web. Crap, that's what I do lol. I guess guys in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I can understand, well, those who find living with somebody to be a royal pain in the ass.

Are you attracted to this girl physically? If not, then this person seems like a no-go at this point---unless she opens up a bit.

How did you meet this person?

Are aspie guys just doomed to only date girls who are unattractive?

Definitely not, RetroGamer. I can say this with certainty.

You developed "chemistry" with some of the other girls you dated. You got along, best, with those who were relatively more assimilated into Aussie culture, despite being of east Asian heritage.

What ethnicity is this new person? Is she a first-generation immigrant?

I don't sense that you match well with shy people.

You like to have fun, and you like her to have fun, too.

Maybe that's it. There are a lot of shy girls, especially on dating sites. Maybe the fun girls don't meet guys on dating sites. Perhaps they meet guys elsewhere.

Sometimes shy people can be really fun when they have gotten to know someone.

I know I was crazy shy on my first date with my partner. Now I'm just crazy hahaha

Good point.

My wife is quite shy. In some ways I think it deepens the relationship because there are more things that she shares with me and not anyone else. She understands when I need a little quiet time, where someone more extroverted might not. Shyness doesn't have to be a negative, and could actually be a good fit for someone on the spectrum.