02 Jun 2005, 12:40 pm
02 Jun 2005, 12:56 pm
02 Jun 2005, 2:12 pm
02 Jun 2005, 3:02 pm
02 Jun 2005, 3:58 pm
02 Jun 2005, 5:38 pm
02 Jun 2005, 6:46 pm
Quote:
start with loving yourself. unfortunate, but necessary.
I'm hopeless
.
Why does everyone say that, anyway?
techstepgenr8tion
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Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,725
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi
02 Jun 2005, 8:23 pm
timidme
Hummingbird
Joined: 28 May 2005
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 24
Location: Somewhere in Oklahoma
02 Jun 2005, 9:28 pm
techstepgenr8tion wrote:
IMO the feelings are just infatuation, "love is when you have a social contract underlying it; when you both like eachother enough to be almost purely altruistic on eachother's behalf. It means that you respect eachother's diginity and feel the relationship has enough dignity that it's worth working for and trying to maintain. It means that if she ever is really sick or what ever, you'll do the right thing and stay by her side" (and she'll do the same for you) It means if things get rough you talk problems out rather than leaving em because the partner you have in front of you isn't a perfect finished product by your standards to begin with (then again being a guy with AS, that particular bad attitude will much more likely be comming at you than from you).
The problem is it seems like so many people have their heads up their a**es and have no value placed on any of this. The nice thing about rejection is that a lot of the girls who don't have their heads on straight will probably be giving you dirty looks on first glance just for looking different - sometimes you have to take that as a blessing because you'd rather have that than have 2 or 3 years of em harping on you and then shelling out alimony to em for years after.
The problem is it seems like so many people have their heads up their a**es and have no value placed on any of this. The nice thing about rejection is that a lot of the girls who don't have their heads on straight will probably be giving you dirty looks on first glance just for looking different - sometimes you have to take that as a blessing because you'd rather have that than have 2 or 3 years of em harping on you and then shelling out alimony to em for years after.
I was trying to quote part of this but....
I agree with what you said up to the part "isn't a perfect finished product by your standards to begin with. . . . . " not sure I understand
it from there. It seems people with AS would be more forgiving of deviations from the 'standard'. Wouldn't two with AS be better than 1 with- 1 w/o?
02 Jun 2005, 9:32 pm
Civet wrote:
Quote:
start with loving yourself. unfortunate, but necessary.
I'm hopeless
.Why does everyone say that, anyway?
I've always wondered that myself. What does self-esteem have to do with love, besides the fact that people with huge egos are revolting to everyone?
techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,725
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi
02 Jun 2005, 9:43 pm
timidme wrote:
techstepgenr8tion wrote:
IMO the feelings are just infatuation, "love is when you have a social contract underlying it; when you both like eachother enough to be almost purely altruistic on eachother's behalf. It means that you respect eachother's diginity and feel the relationship has enough dignity that it's worth working for and trying to maintain. It means that if she ever is really sick or what ever, you'll do the right thing and stay by her side" (and she'll do the same for you) It means if things get rough you talk problems out rather than leaving em because the partner you have in front of you isn't a perfect finished product by your standards to begin with (then again being a guy with AS, that particular bad attitude will much more likely be comming at you than from you).
The problem is it seems like so many people have their heads up their a**es and have no value placed on any of this. The nice thing about rejection is that a lot of the girls who don't have their heads on straight will probably be giving you dirty looks on first glance just for looking different - sometimes you have to take that as a blessing because you'd rather have that than have 2 or 3 years of em harping on you and then shelling out alimony to em for years after.
The problem is it seems like so many people have their heads up their a**es and have no value placed on any of this. The nice thing about rejection is that a lot of the girls who don't have their heads on straight will probably be giving you dirty looks on first glance just for looking different - sometimes you have to take that as a blessing because you'd rather have that than have 2 or 3 years of em harping on you and then shelling out alimony to em for years after.
I was trying to quote part of this but....
I agree with what you said up to the part "isn't a perfect finished product by your standards to begin with. . . . . " not sure I understand
it from there. It seems people with AS would be more forgiving of deviations from the 'standard'. Wouldn't two with AS be better than 1 with- 1 w/o?
I guess it's because I'm getting hit with that again a bit. THe problem is keep myself composed in a real NT-respectable way but I still get all these dirty looks. Anymore half the time I think its hillareous (unless I feel like I made a big enough slip to where they had the right-away) but at the same time, no matter how much I feel like it's an affront to who I am, I still have to think "well, I'd rather that than suffer a relationship with em".
techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,725
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi
02 Jun 2005, 9:45 pm
ghotistix wrote:
Civet wrote:
Quote:
start with loving yourself. unfortunate, but necessary.
I'm hopeless
.Why does everyone say that, anyway?
I've always wondered that myself. What does self-esteem have to do with love, besides the fact that people with huge egos are revolting to everyone?
Because it isn't about love much of the time - its all about who's the most alpha, has the most style, or the most money.
02 Jun 2005, 11:46 pm
03 Jun 2005, 12:19 am
Love...hmm... it's probably a matter of opinion I guess. Sorry I'm no help, I'm using all of my will power not to hijack your thread by rambling about bad experiences.
Quote:
Love suffers long and is kind
Love does not envy
Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up
Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil
Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Love does not envy
Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up
Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil
Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
The Bible might have some advice!! !
03 Jun 2005, 2:26 am
ghotistix wrote:
Civet wrote:
Quote:
start with loving yourself. unfortunate, but necessary.
I'm hopeless
.Why does everyone say that, anyway?
I've always wondered that myself. What does self-esteem have to do with love, besides the fact that people with huge egos are revolting to everyone?
self esteem and ego is not the same thing.
the reason you need it first is that people pick up on the fact you don't love/like/rate yourself, and who wants to love someone who doesn't even think they are worth any sort of effort? (unless they (the former "they") are some sort of power freak).
03 Jun 2005, 3:01 am
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