Do hackers date?

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I'm leaning towards no. I pretty much do math & software architecture constantly unless I make time to get outside or catch a party. I'm not 100% chronically single but it's one issue. There's one on again off again thing I really treasure (currently off *I think*) & AFAIK one other girl who's equally likely to date then first girl as she is me. This city isn't very big. I don't even really perceive much trouble talking to women but there aren't many who feel at all welcome around my never-ending work life.

As I've said no FB for cberg. I'm more interested in the internet because it simplifies life. How should I stay available IRL? *minimal social media*

Bump. Thread got ignored, blame cberg.

I'm not joking you know. This feels like it should be a pretty benign question; I work a lot around systems people tend to ignore or exalt, frequently in the same sentence, how can I improve my ability to level with girls? Where's the common ground when I could be reading your email? I'm fine conversationally but sheesh flirting with me must be like unboxing a laptop.

It seems illogical to entertain the idea they wouldn't unless they are asexual for example. I would imagine it would depend entirely on the individual, not what skills they possess. Though to use your skills and knowledge to violate someone's trust and privacy may be a very bad idea.

That's just it huh? It's pretty dismaying I actually have to tell you I only work ethically & legally, I only referred to a cliché misconception. Square one preferences notwithstanding, could I really be conditioned towards asexuality by pessimistic gossips?

edit: I digress; should I be asking how to help girls overlook things that take all day to explain?

I did not mean to imply you were unethical and used your skills inappropriately. If you are consumed by work and seem to ignore or don't see advances and don't have a love life I imagine it's not outside the realm of possibilities that an outside perspective could be that of asexuality. If you are happy with what you are doing in life, perhaps misconceptions are only that. If it is important to you that others understand why you do the things you do it would not be a bad use of time to explain your perspective of the situation if they make inquiries.

Well I have at least been expanding my acquired beer tastes. I'm not sure which takes longer to explain, contemporary software architecture or asexuality. Either way I'm certainly addicted to challenges be they machinery or *very much preferably* feminine. Overall I'm an optimistic person but I must concede even work like mine isn't best enjoyed alone. Like I said I'm lucky to know at least some girls who seem to appreciate all this, so I feel I should be looking for better ways to stay in touch. Workaholism is one issue but how can I act less robotic & more cuddly? Thankfully I'm no longer so reclusive as to spend all week locked in an office.

I hope you find a nice hacker lady.

Well part of why I'm posting once more is I'm hoping there won't be any reason to. I'm sure on the rocks in some senses although the 1st girl I mentioned in my OP is unequivocally family & the 2nd is a neighbour (oh wait they both are ). I needn't mix my work life with anything, if anything I need more outside perspective.

I'm watching Planet Earth II's premier as I type.
"The Choice is ours; we can cherish, or we can destroy."
-Sir David Attenborough

Some people like unboxing laptops, and cats like to play in the boxes.

I'm not the right person to ask for how to keep in touch if you're not using Facebook, etc. Phone calls and coffee dates?

Well, if you spend your days in front of a computer, surely some physical activity would be in order? Do you have any hobbies? Aren't you into cycling? Or am I confusing you with someone else?

Yeah I'm charting some upcoming mountain bike builds & working out what to do with the spring ski season but mostly I've just been hiking a bit & stumbling about the city here. I'm concertedly trying to move into the mountains. A month back I dropped all my money on a new laptop that's ~2 pounds so I can more or less get stuff done anywhere. Project cars are one hobby though I try & keep those investments minimal. Not that I can stop fantasizing about the right roadster for date nights.

Last edited by cberg on 19 Feb 2017, 4:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I barely know anything about how to arrange coffee dates, I don't recall more than 2 or 3. I guess I'm partly asking more about quality time then, I do know I need to act less invisible & stop zoning out, trouble is I probably know more code than English.

Well, neither do I, sadly. But I think they're informal and probably one of the easier ways to visit with a friend in person, if that's what you're asking about.

To be honest, I'm not sure how men and women "hang out", either as partners or as friends. I had a few women friends in high school and we'd watch movies, go to coffee shops, go out to eat, or stay in and bake or have a couple drinks once we were old enough. Most of that probably doesn't apply to your situation.

I know an entire shop of baristas actually, one girl a few years older is a workaday friend of mine so I suppose I should ask her advice. I'm always doing something over coffee so I'd greatly appreciate pointers on how to seem less formal. It's obvious I need to make some space for everyone in my vicinity.

That would be wise, if she seems comfortable around people. I've only ever invited women as platonic friends to coffee, and a long time ago.

Maybe go out to lunch? I do that with family often.

It occurs to me that there's a recurring theme of introversion among us. Lunch might happen eventually (lol I'm typing this next to a chef) ...with luck I'll know a thing or 2 about where to avoid crowds.

Of course the tough bit is just staying looped in enough to both be around everybody & get time to actually talk directly. I'm kind of too comfortable where I'm at. Ski trips might be a simpler idea to my mind; being an adrenaline junkie I depend on some female friends at times both for suspense & to challenge me