Friend shuts down

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Hello

I'm new here. I met a really nice guy a year ago. We became friends very easy, we have the same interest, humour... Very soon he told me he was different. And since he's not in therapy we talked alot about his behaviour, in a good way, to help. We started texting eachtother everyday, all day. He became my best friend. He's a really good guy. After eight months i told him i had feelings for him. He backed away and told me i deserved better then him, that he would be more like a child to me then a man. He's been alone for 3 years, no sex. Nothing. I said that i cared and would never see him as a child or a burden. I dindn't wanna lose him so i dropped the topic. A month later, we were hanging out and i saw him getting nervous. Suddenly he kissed me. It felt so relaxed and good. I was in heaven. But still, that didn't define us that we were more than friends, for him. A couple of weeks later we kissed again, and had sex. That is for him a very big step out of his comfortzone. He doesn't enjoy sex, and had some erectionproblems but kept trying untill it worked. In total we had sex twice in twice occasions. But after the last time he overanalyzed and got scared. Sex is a bad thing for him. I asked him what we were doing, if there's something more? He said he just wanted to be friends. I know he wants more but he keep saying he has nothing to offer me. And i keep saying that i want to be by his side and i accept all his difficulties because to me he is more than his issues. There are more good sides than bad sides. We talked all day and i explained in the most beautifull words what he means to me, how sincere my feelings for him are. Ans he tells me no. Just friends. On the other hand he tells me i'm the best thing that ever happened to him, i'm the most beautifull woman etc. But still no. It confuses me. He insisted on staying friends, losing me as a friend would really hurt him but i told him i can't. I'm in it way too deep. I love him (never said that because he would freak out) i truly love him and would go through it all and learn how to deal with him. So even when i told him that this is goodbye, still no other emotions. He just told me he doesn't know what to say and that he will seriously miss me and i could come back anytime. I told him, that whem i'm gone, i'm gone. And we said goodbye. My heart is shattered and i can't place it all. We had sex, that means he really cares because he would never just do that. How can he not see that i'm a good thing for him. Is there any chance he'll come back. If the missing gets real? I know he'll be depressed now that i'm gone. But will it be enough to decide and change. Maybe therapy? I really hope so. I'm so so sad.

I know it's frustrating---but were I in your situations, I would have kept up the friendship.

Being friends with the one you love is better than not being with the one you love at all.

You have most commendable patience when it comes to a guy's "trouble" in sex, by the way. It means you really love him and care about him.

His self-esteem is totally damaged.

If you say so...

The wrong way to start a romance with a guy like that. He even claimed he didn't like sex, and yet you thought sex would change his mind. It won't. You are a friend to him, not a romance, and sex won't change that.

Your only chance to get to his heart is to unfriend him and start in the proper way. Still, I wouldn't try that because you are not compatible. Having a romance with him doesn't mean you are best friends and have regular sex like you expect, so you will just be disappointed.

I actually find it more painful to stick around. You get tangled up emotionally and it makes it more difficult to let go of the romantic hope and move on to someone else more suitable.