how stupid is to kill yourself because a boy?

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i mean, obviously it isn't just him. everything is sh***y and with him i had a small glimpse on how my life could be better but it was taken away and now i'm back to my sad life again and i can't stand it anymore.

i'm worried if he will feel guilty and bad about it, i don't want to disturb him, i just don't see much sense in keep collecting all those failures because that's what my life was.

It's not that any reason is stupid, the trouble is that any of them can be. Considering I'm already sure there are posters here who would miss you I can't even know how many more would where you are.

Ever thought about going to the Pantanal? Or the Amazonian region?

I'd like to go to either one of those places some time.

Hi

I'm sorry for this topic, I had a bad day and on top of it there is this love-related stuff that is going on for too long. I just feel so sad because there isn't anything plain good in my life happening. I can't even remember when it start but it's frustration after frustration after frustration and I'm damm sick about it.

Today I lost the bus to come back home after university (my campus is outside the city) so I came walking by the road and I saw an accident. I got quite bad and I kind of transferred my bad feelings about it to this relationship issue and generally to my feel on life.

I talked with this guy, and I'm hopeless about us, and I'm hopeless about my life in general but I'm trying to address things to the right places and I think I don't really want to die – I just don't want to live this way but there is stuff that is out of my control and I can't deal with that, ie. seeing someone with a smashed head by the road or not being loved by people.

I'm sure my mom would miss me, not because she loved me but because she will felt she failed me. It makes me sad. My cat also needs me.



I never. I don't have money to travel, I just had money to travel when I got a scholarship but then it was to live in Europe, so I had surplus money I could travel around, so I kind of know a lot of Europe and almost nothing of my own country. I had saved money from that time that I thought to use to travel here, but my father lost his leg so I used it to pay for his prosthesis.

less stupid than killing yourself for a boy (like with the intention of making him feel bad), but to the same result.
i'm glad you are not truly wanting to die but not wanting to live either puts someone in a strange state of being, sometimes a volatile one.
good news is, your life can become more worth living if you give it a chance, whereas if you were to end it now it will die with everything it was and nothing it could have been.
if you must rely on the guilt of the prospect of transferring your pain onto others for the moment to get through this time then that's okay, but try to search both within and outside yourself for other reasons to stick around too.

ask a mod to delete the entire thread. it's not healthy to see it every time you visit this forum, especially since as you said you were having a bad day when you made this topic.
we all say strange things when we are stressed or in a bad mood.

You need to get some professional help and a life for yourself. It's not your fault. It's a thing with AS. We tend to lack a sense of self and we hyper-focus(unfortunately on another). We're like the opposite of a sociopath - they are "all" self but lack compassion. We have no self but have lots of compassion that we need to give through charity. Go out and do some charity. DON'T GIVE MONEY!!
Give your time to someone in need and that hole you feel in your soul will be filled. We AS's want to give but we don't know how so we go around thinking we need a love relationship, a thousand and ten pets, etc... Find a cause (not a person or a group of people) to care about and put all your energy into it. This cause can benefit a person or a group of people but the point is that you can't expect reciprocity. When the goal of seeing people benefit from a good cause that you fought for - now, "that" is the reward! BUT FIRST GET HELP!! ! Talk to a good counselor. If you should find love beside a fellow do-gooder, that's great!! Put your hyper-focus on a good cause never on another individual.