Are People With Autism Less Attractive Than Average?

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Do you think that people with autism/aspergers are less attractive than the average population without the condition?

Iv'e known 50+ people with the condition and no offense, but a lot of people with autism are not attractive people. Don't get me wrong, there are some attractive people with aspergers but iv'e noticed that a lot of people with autism/aspergers are not the most attractive people in the world.

Now some of this is because many people with autism are less likely to care about their appearance and hygiene. They don't comb their hair, they wear baggy clothes, they see no point in working out so they look fat and out of shape, they don't really have a fashion sense either. Well guess what? You can become more attractive if you start giving a sht about your appearance.


Iv'e also noticed that the more attractive you are, the better you are at hiding the fact you have aspergers. Good looking people with autism/aspergers are better at hiding their condition because their symptoms are more likely to be seen as just being shy or awkward. On the other hand, the less attractive you are, the less likely you are able to hide your diagnosis. Less attractive people with autism are more likely seen as weird and people are more likely to avoid you.


Another reason why we many be considered unattractive is because of our distinctive demeanor. We may come off as weird and awkward and this in turn makes us less attractive.

how on god's green earth did you manage to start four identical threads?


as for your question, no, i don't think autistics are by default more ugly or attractive than the average person (we have several lookers here, of both sexes )


i think that most of the unattractiveness stereotypical associated with ASD comes down to lack of hygiene/grooming and mannerisms, instead of actual body and facial structure and proportions, as you've said. fortunately the former is easily amendable with a little motivation and soap.

IMO the idea of having a "fashion sense" is lost on a lot of people, not just autistics. it may be rooted in culture too.

Having a fashion sense is very ridiculous and does absolutely nothing to benefit you in the first place. Most people don't dress fashionably.

The people I know with ASD who are unattractive usually don't care much about their appearance. BUT they also hold themselves weirdly and have odd facial expressions, not as approachable, don't smile enough etc - that makes you less attractive to people overall.




I would vouch for this. I am quite lucky with my features, that people consider me attractive. BUT I also carry myself with confidence (probably mostly because I know people find me attractive). So that works in my favour quite substantially, to the point that it masks my ASD and throws people off.

Sure, I'm a f*cking weirdo, and if you talk to me long enough it becomes outrageously apparent. But it's less apparent on the surface. Being confident and weird is apparently acceptable
It might still be social awkwardness but if it's done with confidence, people can relate to it more

So yeah, I think a big issue for people with ASD is less to do with features and more to do with grooming/confidence. But for good reason. Society is unfair to us

Not physically anyway.

My son's special ed teacher recently said that, while he has a lot of social problems, he's lucky to be very handsome and have a pleasant voice, which to some extent buffers others' annoyance with him.

As for me... no arrogance, but I used to be very good-looking and modeled in my 20s and 30s. Since I was socially inept and had no abilty to initiate things with women, this was a huge help, as really attractive women often made the first move with me. Of course, they soon realized what a weirdo I was and ended things. At least I got to enjoy a lot of brief flings. Now, at 54, I'm much more socially skilled but the looks are a thing of the past. If only I could have had the two things together....

I think, at least for me, being unattractive is something I own and embrace. I don’t hide my shyness or awkwardness, but I put it out there on the table along with the cards everyone else plays. And you know what i get for it? Understanding and acceptance. When I’m teaching, I’ll let my students, usually middle schoolers, in on my dark career past. I’ll tell them I’m not a great teacher, that I’ve taught in aweful schools, and I know what it’s like to get rolled in the classroom by subhumans with IQ’s not even remotely worthy of my time and effort. The takeaway for them is I know them a lot better than they think I do, that they can’t roll me if I don’t “roll with” them, and I know exactly how to handle every situation and nothing they do surprises me.

Point is you appear less ugly and awkward the more you flaunt those very traits people find unattractive. It communicates your own self-awareness, creates a bond with others struggling with their own insecurities, and defuses potential attacks. I’m finding now my worst nightmare isn’t people making fun of me or girls screaming “eeeeew, creeeeeep!! !” but rather being completely ignored.

In dating, that woman you see every week at the grocery is, like, “Ew, creep” the first time she sees you. Next time, “ok, he’s a little creepy, but he’s kinda cute in a weird way.” And the next time, “he’s really nice once you get to know him.”

As to hygiene and health, I say this: if you want to hang out with someone, don’t punish them for hanging out with you. First what you can. Bathe regularly or at least throw on some cologne and deodorant. I sweat profusely and have an odor anyway no matter what, but the tiniest effort shows at least you try. I have a bizarre bald pattern, so every month or two I give myself a buzz cut. Doesn’t get rid of the pattern, just makes it less severe. Seriously, I look like a cancer patient perpetually stuck in the first couple of rounds of chemo. The sick look works if you’re sick, but earns you no respect if you’re not.

I’m finding too late in life that there’s no excuse for diet and exercise. Some people legitimately can’t, and I understand that, but I just don’t believe that applies to the majority of folks. I recently started training for distance running. Prior to my first 5k, I seriously thought I was going to die. But I worked at it very slowly until I could do it. It was fun! I’m running my first half marathon next Saturday. I’ve started running from one workplace to another across town, which is just over 5 miles and takes an hour allowing for traffic stops along the way. Prepping for that has made me more organized and clear-headed because I have to have a change of clothes, recovery fuel, and my paperwork has to be turned in early, plus I have to have my presentation done, copies printed, etc.

I’m not saying everyone has to train for running. I’m just saying it’s not all that out of reach. Your body will fight you at first. It was so painful at first until I adapted to it. Once I learned a cross training routine that worked for me, I could focus on heavy-duty cardio, take some of the stress off my knees, and go for 2-3 hour workouts. I’m a heavy eater and always hungry, which means most days I’m miserable because I don’t have a lot of money for food. Despite that, I manage to keep my weight steady by burning 1500 Cal at a minimum.

Speaking of diet, a runner has to be more targeted than average folks. In the absence of activity, the only way to lose weight it to not eat. Water fasting is becoming increasingly popular. I’ve done it twice for 40 days each. The first time I started at 235 lb. The second time was at 185 lb. I’m currently just over 165 lb. It’s a touch on the high side—but it’s about where I was in early high school.

I don’t recommend a 40 day water fast. It was a spiritual thing for me with the weight loss an added bonus. But I do recommend going maybe two weeks on, one week off, one week on, etc. until you lose the weight you want to lose. Go vegetarian during the off-weeks, stay off caffeine. Caffeine activates your cortisol which will pack on the pounds. You will lose weight FAST, I mean like average 1 lb a day.

The down side to this is you MUST eat small, balanced meals after fasting or your sodium/potassium deficiency will stop your heart. After a week or so, you CAN go back to normal meals, but you will rapidly gain weight. You absolutely MUST start working out if you intend to keep off the weight. Otherwise, be prepared to only eat 4 oz. meals twice a day for the rest of your life.

Unless I have a distance run in two weeks, I supplement my cardio with light weight training. I do incline flies and presses with 20lb dumb bells. The more muscle mass you have, the higher your metabolism. It’s like you work out in your sleep. I have trouble with building new routines and skills, so I start with specific, targeted goals. My goal is to finish a triathlon. No time limit yet, there’s just too much to coordinate in training+buying expensive gear+... So for now I’m just working on running and swimming. The weights are to strengthen arm and chest muscles in the off season. If I can build up to 30 lb dumbells, my goal is to begin working on endurance. I feel good about cycling, just need a good bike to train on.

Again, not saying you have to be a distance runner or triathlete. But if you set goals for activities, you’ll find it easier to succeed in whatever form of training you choose, which in turn will improve your muscle mass and tone and help shed the fat. I found spending more time in cardio training helped the most. I can live with being a hardgainer for now. My knees are highly resistant to distance increases, so I spend over half my time on arc trainers. I LOVE the arc. If you can’t find one at your Y or gym, any elliptical will do. I prefer ellipticals, but the ones at my Y suck. The Cybex arc trainer works much better for me. Gives a lot of feedback, too, and I like the feel of adjusting the stride and resistance. It’s like combining running, climbing, and cycling all into a single motion and keep the toes in front of the knees to avoid stress injury. By contrast, treadmills are BRUTAL. I’ll switch to treadmill, track, and road leading up to a race, but ellipticals and arc trainers are really where you want to be to build cardio endurance. I’ve gone a combined total of 18 miles in a single day and not felt at all tired. But my knees...

It takes time. I’ve been at this for more than two years now and still learning new things. Mainly what my body really can do, but also how to get there. Get ready for some pain. But know that the pain will go away. Some pain you can ignore, others not. Chest pain is good—means your heart is working and your lungs are learning what to do. Palpitations, dizziness is bad—back it down, boss. Severe pain stretching into your left shoulder and arm, call an ambulance. Muscle pain good—you are adapting. Joint pain is bad. Time to cross-train.

But most importantly, tl;dr, it CAN BE DONE!