First ever date tommorow advice

Post Reply New Topic

i was talking to a girl on Instagram that i stumbled upon on tinder. we have a date on Saturday at a art gallery in London followed by coffee.

This is my first proper date unless going for a drink with a coworker
Any advice ?

Relax and have fun: No matter what it's a learning experience. Enjoy the moment and don't get down if she flakes on you as it likely has nothing to do with you.

Yeah...just keep things easy and casual.

Conversationally, keep the focus on her. What kinds of things does SHE like? Why does she like that? What does she like to do? Can she show you how to ___? How long has she been _____? You don’t have to pepper her with questions, just keep her talking about things she’s excited about.

People are generally self-absorbed by nature. The more you feed into that, the more you make someone feel special or important, the more interested in you they tend to be.

Which is why she’ll ask you about yourself. Deflect if you can, but if you MUST talk about yourself, present yourself in a way that matters to her. Well, I enjoy _____. Have you ever _____? Oh, if you like ___, then you’d really have fun _____. Actually, in two weeks, I’m going ____ with some friends. Think you might be up for it?

Or if you describe a hobby or show her your work, ask what she thinks about whatever it is. And actually listen. She may not be interested at all, so if she’s not saying much, move onto something else. Which is easy if you keep her picking the topics. You keep it going by having her chase rabbits. Pay attention and make relevant responses. She’ll think you’re a master conversationalist and you barely have to say anything at all.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

I would frame the meeting in an open minded way that doesn't allow me to over think the outcome and project too much onto a relative stranger. Something like "I'm looking forward to finding out more about _____ tomorrow. " In my experience relationships of any kind follow their own natural course to a large extent anyway. Bearing that in mind personally I would advise you to distract yourself in the mean time and respond to her as you find her on the day.

Well, given the difference where I am, it should be evening in London. So your date is either underway or already done. Let's hope you didn't do what I did when I had my first real date at age 18. Which was "fall in love" with her (notice the quotes), and start planning a long-term relationship in my mind. As well as get so worked up over it, that I completely forgot to actually enjoy the night and my date's company. (Well, in retrospect, the date was kind of boring; but having no prior experience and being desperate to go on an actual date, I didn't care.)

OP, give us an update. How did your date go?

yes it went well . Wasn't awkward at all . Kind of both asked the same amount of questions etc so it wasnt one sided.
Had quite a bit in common or could at least relate to . hoping to arrange a 2nd date by text.