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So this is a question for those in relationships.

We are in an era of text messages and instant chat. Can I get away with not being in contact with someone who is interested in me and just talk when we meet up? Of course if he does message me, I do always send a message back. I don't ghost him. But I don't know him well enough to bother him with my little observations that I would send my closest friends. It seems too much too soon to do that. I only message him about arranging to meet up if I do initiate the message and vice versa.

I text my sibling and only 2 other people on a regular basis. But never keep in regular touch with new people.

What is your perspective as a man? Or women how does this work for you? I'm looking for thoughts from more self contented aspies, rather than needy aspies.

Texting and social media are the trends these days, and pretty much everyone communicates through them. Personally, I prefer to use the phone, or talk in person, but sometimes you just have to go with the flow. I would say you don't need to contact them constantly, but some communication would be advisable.

Someone needs to do the First Contact.

Oh ok.

I was wrong then.

I don't want to be a bother though. I guess if I make an effort, but not go crazy and text too much that's ok.

Having been in a relationship recently I found the instant access to me through smartphone apps and texting was used to keep me under thumb and as someone's caretaker. It also feeds into people's insecurities. It can make a relationship toxic.

Call me old fashioned but I miss when I first started dating girls - mobile phones were only just a thing, we had more time away from each other in any sort of way and the time we had together counted. There was more trust, communication was important not done out of boredom.. etc.

I like to just do my own thing. I will go to a local charity building, or to a bar or cafe, or the library, the park. And for the most part this is on my own because I prefer it that way, and chances are I will know someone in those places.

I'm not doing anything really out the ordinary but with phones the way they are these days and how instantly people feel the need to get a response from you, know where you are etc. I just feel when I'm dating or in a relationship that free-spirited part about me is stripped away and no one realises they're doing it to one another. I don't blame any individual for their actions in this case but the way we are beign conditioned now doesn't help.

I simply refuse to be reachable on mobiles or other online tools. I often don't even bother to take my mobile with me, so connecting with me that way simply doesn't work. Mind reading, OTOH, is totally ok. I don't need online access for that, and only very special people can connect to me that way.

Message at your own pace and maybe take note if he gets to a point where he's needy.
There is an etiquette to how long you go between messages/speaking in so-called healthy relationships. Not that I'm gonna master it any time soon LMAO

Before iOS/Android phones and FB there was phone SMS, MSN messenger and email, these were "a thing" within relationships; it was really not that different back then; just different technologies.