New co-worker and more anxiety

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I didn't know a new co-worker would be joining today and it's causing me to have more anxiety because she's a nerdy/geeky looking girl. I don't know if this is an opportunity that I wish would happen more often to have a girlfriend or if she already has a boyfriend.

Well....there's only one way to find out.

But don't ask her out right away. Talk to her like a friend for a little while.

Above all----don't mention anything about "rednecks" or "hip-hoppers" until she brings up the subject.

Or about how badly you want a girlfriend

(I'm sure you know this, though).

Even if she has a boyfriend, if you become friends with her she might introduce you to some single friends of hers.

Just pretend she's one of the dudes, against all your senses and thoughts.
I think in an office environment she'd really appreciate that rather than being a focal point of the male staff if she is indeed a geeky/nerdy girl.
Though on certain subjects, wait for her to initiate them as to not offend.

Speaking from previous experience in call centres, sales, marketing environments.

In my experience, most women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends because their boyfriends/husbands don't want them to. That is partly why I lost one of my now ex-friends.



I am in the minority at my place of work. The staff is predominantly female as well as older and married or divorced. I am the youngest male and I don't have much in common with the other guys.

I still haven't talked to her. I don't even know her name.

Maybe she might find you attractive if you had begun working on making yourself so a couple years ago. Maybe this is a sign that you should do the things you need to to make yourself more attractive so that when the next new girl comes along in a couple year's you'll be confident and ready instead of anxious and unprepared.

goldfish is onto something here.
Already it's established the attraction isn't mutual.
You don't know each other yet and yet you know you both exist.

I wanted to add, it's sort of weird that you've already sort of put her in this position of "potential girlfriend" when you don't know her, haven't talked to her, don't even know her name, know absolutely nothing about her. Dude - she just started yesterday.

Back up and start again. If you're approaching every single woman out there with this air of desperation, I can kind of see why you may be getting weird, scowling looks in return.

Don't f*****g dude me. Why are you even replying to me? You've told me you have nothing more to say to me.

I haven't even approached this person. Also, my older brother and other guys I've known always got girls right off the bat while trying to be friends first never worked for me.

Not talking to them also doesn't work btw.

Why are you getting hostile towards people who are giving you very valuable constructive criticism of your thoughts & behaviours?

Let's see here.. your approach hasn't worked for you, so, maybe, just maaaaaybe, a different approach like others are suggesting might just be in order.. but hey, if you want to keep getting the exact same results that you've always gotten, keep doing the exact same things & then let us all here know how that works out for you.

She's shamed me for my living situation.

No, you're lying again, Marknis. Read her post again. There is NOTHING in it about your living situation. Stop lying. It's VERY evident that you're lying, because the words you just used to describe her post above Do Not Match. You'll make more friends here, and in real life, if you stopped lying about others.

I am talking about her other posts as well as PMs she's sent to me. That's why I mentioned her in the past tense, genius.

You know what one more thing that girls don't like about you is? That you dwell on the past and irrelevant PM conversations in order to discount the value of positive, helpful, advice given to you.

Grow up, Marknis. Once you do that you might just be on the path to being able to get a date or have a girlfriend, but as long as you keep acting like a child you're going to keep being treated like one - and children don't get dates or girlfriends.