Hi - I've posted about this in the past (when i was going through a weird phase that I'm now over), but its come up several times since then. When I go on dates, and especially if there had been some interest prior to the date, I always psychoanalyze myself, and later devalue it. It's almost like I self-sabatoge myself, but from my side of the story. Even dates that are ok, or even good, sometimes I feel icky about afterwards for no reason. (For more context, only time I can think of where this didn't happen was [a] a date where I instantly decided I wasn't interested and then had a great time, because I wasn't analyzing and instead just having fun and [b] a first date last summer, which ended in almost relationship that was very anxiety-inducing with bad results).
Right now, I recently went on a date with someone that was "ok". Not great, but I feel it was deserving of a second date (which she said yes to). However now my gut is a pit of acid, even though there were no actual red-flags about her, we had things in interest, she attractive, etc — I go back and forth between thinking my gut is saying not to, and thinking its more stress over being "on the fence". I feel like both are these problems are due to overanalyzing dates as they happen (maybe searching for a certain expectation) and devaluing them later (definitely has happened before).
Is this normal for anybody else?
18 Jun 2018, 9:25 pm
