I made a terrible mistake with my gf
In order to explain to my Aspie gf how important it is we get her non stop talking under control I opened up about the horrific ridicule I've been subjected to for my own excessive talking.
She responded by acting like I hadn't said anything and continued on with her rambling about what had been on her mind before I did my soul baring.
We argued briefly she threatened to hang up and I actually did hang up.
I want her in my life but I don't know what to do with her non stop talking or how insensitive she can be to my basic communication needs.
Help?
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
She responded by acting like I hadn't said anything and continued on with her rambling about what had been on her mind before I did my soul baring.
We argued briefly she threatened to hang up and I actually did hang up.
I want her in my life but I don't know what to do with her non stop talking or how insensitive she can be to my basic communication needs.
Help?
I hate to say this, but the best thing you can do is call her up and apologize.
I understand how you feel. I really do. I don’t mean to come across as insensitive or unempathetic. It’s just the reality of relationships.
The first thing you have to understand is that your wants and wishes do not matter. At all. It is ALWAYS about the other person.
Doesn’t mean you can’t do things you enjoy. Doesn’t mean you can’t have hobbies. Doesn’t mean you can’t have alone time. Doesn’t mean you have to give up video games. Doesn’t mean you have to stop being who you are.
It just means that when you are with your gf, none of those things matter. If all she wants to do is talk your ear off about what SHE likes, learn to deal. It doesn’t change from one gf to the next. If you value her, in that moment she is all there is.
Now...the flip side to all of this is that if you have sacrificed and gambled on this relationship and you feel like all you’re getting are diminishing returns, which is expected to a degree and up to a point, there’s no logical reason to stay in the relationship. In other words, if she doesn’t reciprocate and give you the same time and respect you give her, then she’s merely a drain on your mental and emotional resources. You’d be delusional to try to stay with her and make it work.
One practical solution that worked for me when my gf got a little chatty or disruptive to my routine is I’d have sex with her. I dunno what luck you’d have with that, so proceed with caution.
She seems to be quite selfish. Don't really think it will work together to be honest. I could not handle it, as I talker myself, I want to also have something to say and my opinion and story to be heard and valued. If she doesn't care, well, I don't care much for her.
Know it might seem hard because being lonely seems like a big pit to fall in but being in this drains you and puts you under a lot of stress. You deserved to be listened to and your opinion has value. Both in a relationship are equal and what some may say that the woman is more important, they live in a brainwashed illusion created by an abusive female.
Try and tell her and if you get no response again, you have your answer, be firm and say you will leave her if she does not change her behavior.
Wish you good luck and you are doing good that you value yourself and question her behavior. Means you care for yourself and that is very important.
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Please be good to nature and all animals. Please be kind, respectful and patient with everyone. Equality and equity.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
She responded by acting like I hadn't said anything and continued on with her rambling about what had been on her mind before I did my soul baring.
We argued briefly she threatened to hang up and I actually did hang up.
I want her in my life but I don't know what to do with her non stop talking or how insensitive she can be to my basic communication needs.
Help?
well, if you don't want to chat just say "I have to do something now, we'll chat later" no need to make things complicated. I don't think she's being insensitive it is just how she is. If she doesn't get it perhaps you're not a good fit.
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Diagnosed with ADHD
Online Autism/ Asperger's Screening = 38 (Autism likely)
