Even though I promised I'd get off dating sites once and for all, it seems I can't stay away very long. One of the things that brought me back this time was actually getting messaged by someone first. We started talking online and she ended up volunteering her number and said she was serious about meeting me. We texted for a bit and she said she'd like to meet up for coffee. She even called me before we started texting just to say hi since she had my number as well. A few days later I decided to call her to convince her that we should do something more interesting than coffee, and suggested dancing, as she alluded to enjoying that. We ended up talking for no less than 3 hours about politics and current events. After the conversation, I suggested that we should definitely meet for dancing since we had already broken the ice thoroughly over the phone. She agreed to meet (tentatively) for the weekend, since she had the most free time then.
A few days later (today), I call her at noon to arrange plans with her for that evening, saying I'd like to meet at around 9 or 10. No response for several hours, so I decide to call. A few rings later, no response. Several hours later, still no response. It is now 10 pm and I still haven't heard back from her. I find it strange that someone who kept me on the phone that long would suddenly be ignoring me like this. I know she would've seen my text and noticed my call so that can't be it, and I don't think I was late confirming plans with her either. The only thing I can think of is that I mentioned having AS to her near the third hour of our conversation, when we were discussing incels. She was very surprised, since she knew someone with AS and I didn't seem anything like him (she said I sounded very well spoken and educated). I told her that not all people with the disorder are alike but that most of us have similar traits that you wouldn't be able to notice just talking over the phone. So, the only conclusion I can come to is that she's now wary of meeting me due to prejudice and that I probably should've kept my big mouth shut. Thing is, she seemed so honest and compassionate, I got lulled into a false sense of security. Not only that, but she's also a more mature (age-wise) person so I wouldn't have suspected she'd be that superficial. Ironically, one of the topics we were discussing was prejudice and discrimination...
Am I misunderstanding something here or can I assume this is pretty much what it looks like? I mean, even if she were prejudiced, you'd think she'd at least text back with some kind of excuse instead of simply ignoring me flat-out after we had made plans. Honestly, I've been through this so many times before, you'd think I'd have to be an idiot for not learning my lesson but I just keep coming back to try again. No matter how many times I've been ghosted, cancelled on, and listened to lame, insulting excuses, I keep thinking there's still a chance I'm going to be able to arrange for one successful meeting after 8 years of this. Am I expecting too much?
11 Aug 2018, 9:05 pm
