How to explain your anxiety to women in dating sites?

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Lady tried to Call me on pof and I’d panicked and didn’t answer she hasn’t replied since
FYI just started messaging yesterday night.
How do we explain phone calls make us super super anxious?

Maybe I'm not qualified to answer, as I've never found a woman on a dating site who actually wanted to talk to me, but I'd just say it straight up. By text message if you have to. It might put her off, but so might any other strategy.

Tell her you don't talk on the phone, if she asks why say you you've always hated it so now you don't do it. Do not say

you get anxious, and it's prob best not to try to explain any further but make sure she knows you don't talk to anyone

on the phone. You are allowed to not do something if you don't like it. If you go on to have a relationship then latter on

you can explain why you hate it ie can't read tone of voice because you're autistic.

"We" don't; at least, not up front. Wait until you can both agree to meet in a safe place to explain anything about yourself.

This should be obvious; but unless you actually want people calling you, do not give out your phone number! Give out your phone number only if you actually want people to call you!

Yes, it's just that simple.

I didn’t give her my number. Apparently pof now has a call feature like Skype. Just the ringing noise makes me panic. I was playing video games went it went off and I stopped everything and just stared at the phone screen.

I didn’t answer and so I guess she’s done with me. She seemed bit too fast for me(wanting to meet up after just few messages) I only talk on phone to my mom, sis or work related(hate it when my department gets a call)

It’s probably if I got in a relationship eventually I could handle short called like with my family but probably never long ones people do , i am either in person or text person.

It’s over with her but given what happen I’m worried about future ones in unlikely event they come along. They want to talk on phone or even do phone sex (hides)

Phone calls make me super panicked just the ringing upsets me.

I’ll try to remeber that if it happens again
I still remeber that aspie woman who forced me to skype video with her

Why is it over with her? I don’t answer my phone every time it rings. That’s why I have voicemail. If you message her back, just say you were busy when she called. You were so that’s not a lie. And like others suggested, tell her you don’t like talking on the phone.

Just tell the truth......you are nervous about talking on the phone. If they cannot accept that, maybe you could reevaluate the situation and ask "Is it really worth trying to go further?" That's just my opinion and opinions are like buttholes lol

I did message her back but seems that was enough of a slight for her to stop talking to me

She prob had been messaging several guys, progressing with a smaller number at each stage. Most NTs are very casual until they consider themselves in a relationship. That's not a bad thing but it's confusing when were're thinking everything we do through really carefully and they're like 'didn't answer, move on to next on list.'

When my phone rings although it's a normal ring tone it feels like a fire alarm to me because I panic inside. I can do straight forward things on it but if anyone wants to discus anything important or ask how I feel about something I want to shout down the phone "I DON'T KNOW"

Women talk a lot on the phone and this is one of the reasons I've lost friends. I wish now that I hadn't tried so hard because as well as suffering I think it came across as less friendly than if I'd just refused to talk on the phone.

I’m sorry to hear that Sly. Thank heavens I’ve never been involved with on-line dating. It sounds so complicated. I hate talking on the telephone. Even as a teenager I never got into the hours long chatting. At work I would try and let the incoming call go over to voicemail and wait until the person was gone for the day to call back. I found it easier to teach adult classes face to face rather than talk on the phone. It’s very intimidating. I found it helped if I made a list of points to talk about, almost an agenda or script.

Have you thought about alternative ways to find women? I think a lot of women on dating sites will want to meet soon to see if you get along or not. I get why that makes you nervous, but from their point of view it's going to be wasted time if there's just a lot of messaging at first, since it's hard to really assess someone that way. The website is just an excuse to meet people you wouldn't otherwise meet. People tend to want to meet in person fast since that's more "real." The website's really just a tool.

And it seems like going through a cycle of interacting with women who have different needs, then not connecting because of that, is hurting your confidence.

I understand you're anxious about talking on the phone.

But this seems to be a common way of meeting people. It seems like you'll have a better chance of meeting someone if you can get over the anxiety somewhat. I wish there was a way you could practice phone conversations, so you'll gain more experience.

You probably do pretty well talking on the phone at your job.

^I've had years of practice and still hate it. I can't work out how people mean what they say to be taken or how

they are taking what I say and my pauses are misunderstood. Somehow being on the phone multiplies

my communication problems. Is that the same with you Sly?

Just tell them you don't like talking on the phone, and would prefer to text until you get more comfortable.

Try to make your shyness seem like a cute thing