type of people who want a relationship with an aspie

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What type or kind of person will it take to want to have a friendship with my daughter? She's 22 next month. Never had a boyfriend let alone a friend. Apart from school life where she was along side supposed friends, those dried out once school finished. Little to no social life.
No romantic dates no first kisses. Do people looking for love want a reciprocal dynamic relationship without the extra work. Is it too hard to have a friendship/romantic or not, with someone who speaks very little. I see really good qualities in her.

Surely there is someone that would love my daughter. It is almost like she is invisible or people can feel her introvert vibe. She is mostly never spontaneous with being verbal, in public, anyway the thing I find hard to believe or the fact is that her introvert vibe is very strong, is that she is a stunner visually but invisible. She has a male tutor her age for 2hours once a week, they sit next to one another on laptops in a uni library and they barely speak at all, just a brief inital question from him and thats it for 2 hours.

Chime in please, anyone. Thanks for reading

What are some of her interests?

Hello

Being an Aspie will not stop her having relationships. It will make getting them and maintaining them harder. She

may or may not think it's worth the effort. As a general rule female Aspies find getting a partner easier than male

Aspies but find it harder than male aspies to make friends. This is a big generalisation though.

The male tutor might be afraid of getting into trouble if he initiates anything, is he autistic too?

Make sure you discus with your daughter what she wants. If she's attractive but doesn't like much attention (usual

in Aspies) then being ignored might be for the best.

I'm not surprised she's not spontaneous verbally, normal people read stuff into what we say and get upset so we

have to think over everything we say very carefully. Not that it works.

This raises a lot of questions which can only be answered by knowing that she actually wants a relationship with a young man and what sort of relationship she imagines having.

A lot of women on the spectrum seem to have no desire whatsoever to be in such a relationship.

You probably need to ask her direct questions about this subject, and you need to ask her to be completely honest, and for you to be nonjudgmental about her answers.

Also why doesn't she get an account on WP (or has she one already)?

To be honest, although I'm probably in a very small minority, she sounds like the kind of woman I'd be attracted to. I think lots of men of all types are attracted to the "mystique" of the reserved, reticent, modest woman who doesn't reveal everything about herself at once, but it's just difficult to know what to do to approach such a woman or how she'll react. I'd dare say there'll be at least one or two young men like myself in her classes, if she can just find them and convey to them somehow that she wants to be approached.

Wow, this is a change. A lot of parents of autistic people are trying to prevent their kid from dating.

The urge has to come from your daughter, though. If you try to promote her getting into a relationship, it is just another case of pressure to be "normal" like she has experienced throughout her life. Let her set the tone herself.

Yeah, many parents will see their duty as being to shelter their daughter from men and their rapacious appetites.

It's also possible that the OP has a sugar-coated impression of what it would mean for her daughter to be "dating". Anyway I would like to see some evidence of the daughter's participation in this conversation.

I think more than a few Aspie guys would be attracted to her. From what I see on this forum lots of Aspie guys are interested in Aspie women but not many Aspie women are interested in Aspie guys. Anyways I think your daughter might be better able to relate to another Aspie.

Hi, She is very fixated on 'The Supernatural' TV series on Netflix. She's going to a convention in our country this May and hopefully getting a photo with Sam and Dean.

Actually I think she is not really interested in relationships, conversations are a mine field for her and I feel she has alexithymia. I hope I spelt that right. She never really expresses thoughts or feelings and doesn't know how to express what she feels or thinks. thank you for your comments

My intentions are for her protection, companionship with a friend/love interest/life partner, someone to love and love her back. I'm well aware and do think I have a sugar coated impression of what is out there. She has little to no self boundary for herself so believe she is a target for abuse. I do know she can't protect herself.

People look at her, because she is pretty, but her posture is closed off and hunched over. Her introvert vibe is a magnet for the unsavoury out there. I only want for her to have a life partner, they need to be so much more, but will that be exhausting for them, it it possible. Does that person exist?

My daughter is not showing interest in the things I want for her. She has an account here, but is so not into this forum and never logs on. I encouraged her so she could learn all the forum offers, but it didn't happen.

thanks for your insight

When I was researching Aspergers & dating or trying to find dating sites geared towards Aspies, I came across more than a few things by parents who were trying to set their Aspie kid up with someone because the parents were worried about what would happen to their Aspie 1ce the parents were no longer around. It sounded kinda like the parents were wanting a caretaker for their Aspie more than for their Aspie to have romance.

Romance as a crutch for adulthood with a disability is a poor idea. It would be better to help the young person learn how to handle money, get out of the house, hold a job if that's in the cards, manage nutrition and exercise, and so on. Not only are those essential life skills, but they actually make the person more likely to find a life partner.

If you enter a relationship as a helpless person needing protection, the relationship will eventually falter - and then where does that leave you?

If it's true that she's not interested in relationships then I don't really know how much you can really do. It is her decision whether she wants one or not or if she wants a life partner in general. As for being really quiet, it doesn't make it impossible for her to find a friend/love interest/life partner but, it does make it hard because she would have to find someone that's really patient or someone else who is really quiet.

Since we also don't know what skills she has at the moment it would be like just taking another person into their house which can put a sizeable hole in their bank account. Her issues such as boundaries, she can get help with those skills unless you don't have access to services like that then I think the next best option would be a group home.

The man that comes and tutors her wouldn't be a good idea because that would be taking advantage of her(Which you want to avoid) and unprofessional.

To be honest though, it would be unfair to get her with a friend or romantic interest because unless she improve the only thing you would be doing is passing this problem from yourself to the person that you let her stay with. It would most likely make you even more worried in the long run because the other person wouldn't have any obligation(like blood relation) so most likely you would then end up afraid the person will just abandon her at some point, which would then give that person a lot of power to use against you. Personally I would look for a group home type of services and use the relationship thing as a last resort(and I mean exhausted ALL other options available).

Just to point out that the above isn’t a negative to everyone. I wouldn’t see a gf who can’t work etc as a burden.

It sounds like she’s in college hinch having a tutor so I don’t think she’s as bad as some make her sound. Since those types wouldn’t be able to go to college. I knew lots of them from high school as I was put into special ed pe to avoid bullying.

I’m guessing most her problems is being shy and inovert like not talking as op said?

I personally wouldn't find someone who can't work a burden either but, just because I don't find it a burden doesn't mean others won't. Having no boundaries and having alexithymia(Both of which I have as well) may not sound like a problem but it can be and potentially a big one. I'm not saying that bad things will happen but, I'm also not saying that they won't happen so you would still have to be cautious of them.

The tutoring part was more if he was someone who tutors people for extra credit or getting paid(That would make her his client and dating a client is frowned upon).