How to Explain My Autism?

Post Reply New Topic

I am currently in high school, and I am talking to this guy I really like. He seems to like me back, but he doesn't really understand what I mean when I say I have autism (I'm a female with mild Asperger's). He offers to "train" me so I can flirt; it makes me feel like I'm somehow impaired or clueless. I also have strict boundaries for sexual behavior (I still haven't had my first kiss and I'm 15), and he teases me about it in a playful but also condescending way. He's a really sweet guy, but his attempts to help me interpret social cues are wrong-headed. How do I articulate this in a way that makes sense to him? Does anyone else not have much experience with touching?

You are 15 which is a year older than my daughter.

I think there's a teens section here on WP so you might be better off asking your peers for advice.

He clearly doesn’t know much about the spectrum, so I would ask him to learn more about it, especially aspergers. If he refuses and somehow expects you to be a NT, than he’s an a**hole and doesn’t deserve you.

I would also clarify that you just have Aspergers and nothing more.

I'd probably just try to tell him that you find his 'social coaching' rude and condescending at times, and if that's not his intention to please not engage in the behaviour as often. If he's interested I'd also explain that some of the 'impairments'/'deficits' you might demonstrate in social interactions can't simply be trained away because they're the result of missing and misinterpreting cues, not from failing to understand how to respond to the ones you're aware of.

It sounds like he might be trying to kind of keep you off-balance a little, poking and prodding you in hopes you'll become more receptive to his interest, but since you're not explicitly stating he's interested I can't be certain that's what's going on.