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NT's opinion: trying to figure out if she likes me

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Mr. Vague
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27 Jan 2020, 4:45 am

So I made friends with this woman and we become really good friends. It was just friends where we would have good conversations about random stuff and She says she gets my "weirdness" lol and I feel pretty relaxed around her.

After about 6 months I went for dinner with her family and for some reason her mother doesn't stop asking about me lol. She says she always talks to her mother about me, how I make her feel good and make her laugh all the time etc. Then she starts getting more "touchy" and tells me that she's really glad I'm part of her life and she's happy we are friends and that she thinks about me (our friendship) she even confessed to having sexual type dreams about me lolol and started showing me things she considered buying for me as a birthday present but she didn't know if it was strange to be spending X amount on me.

She seems to have backed off a lot now so I am not sure if I missed the window of opportunity or if this is just how male/female friends act. I didn't respond to any of her touching as I find it very awkward to engage in touching and hugging so probably came across as somewhat cold. That said we are going to the movies tomorrow and for a coffee.

Not sure if I have misread the situation.



Teach51
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27 Jan 2020, 7:03 am

She likes you. If you want a physical relationship with her then you should tell her. The fact that she shared that she has sexual dreams about you means that she wants more than a platonic relationship.
It's possible that she backed off because she opened her heart and you unintentionally rejected her because you missed the cue.
Tell her you like her, explain that your awkwardness does not equate to not caring. Open up another window of opportunity. :)


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CubsBullsBears
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28 Jan 2020, 12:38 am

Are you and her officially a couple yet?



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28 Jan 2020, 3:12 am

Teach51 wrote:
She likes you. If you want a physical relationship with her then you should tell her. The fact that she shared that she has sexual dreams about you means that she wants more than a platonic relationship.
It's possible that she backed off because she opened her heart and you unintentionally rejected her because you missed the cue.
Tell her you like her, explain that your awkwardness does not equate to not caring. Open up another window of opportunity. :)


This, especially the last two sentences. If she is the type to take it very personally or get upset easily, then it might not work out. I hope she continues to accept you for who you are. :)


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Mr. Vague
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28 Jan 2020, 6:54 am

Quote:
It's possible that she backed off because she opened her heart and you unintentionally rejected her because you missed the cue.


This sounds quite possible and I get that feeling too. I've told her that I find touchy contact a bit awkward and she gave me her advice on that lol.

Thankfully she's pretty strong minded and she sees my somewhat sarcastic honesty as being humorous, luckily we share the same blunt sense of humour so that helps.

I think I'll attempt to open that window and see how it plays! I've been watching some YouTube videos on flirting and getting back out of the friend zone.

Many thanks.

@CubsBullsBears. No we are just friends.



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28 Jan 2020, 7:23 am

Mr. Vague wrote:
Quote:
It's possible that she backed off because she opened her heart and you unintentionally rejected her because you missed the cue.


This sounds quite possible and I get that feeling too. I've told her that I find touchy contact a bit awkward and she gave me her advice on that lol.

Thankfully she's pretty strong minded and she sees my somewhat sarcastic honesty as being humorous, luckily we share the same blunt sense of humour so that helps.

I think I'll attempt to open that window and see how it plays! I've been watching some YouTube videos on flirting and getting back out of the friend zone.

Many thanks.

@CubsBullsBears. No we are just friends.



Good luck!


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29 Jan 2020, 5:52 pm

Mr. Vague wrote:
I didn't respond to any of her touching as I find it very awkward to engage in touching and hugging so probably came across as somewhat cold.

This. If you like her reply or do hug her a warm way at least or she feels rejected and hurt just because she likes you and and may assume that you don't feel any any kind of affection towards her.


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Abstract_Logic
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29 Jan 2020, 6:40 pm

Mr. Vague wrote:
So I made friends with this woman and we become really good friends. It was just friends where we would have good conversations about random stuff and She says she gets my "weirdness" lol and I feel pretty relaxed around her.

After about 6 months I went for dinner with her family and for some reason her mother doesn't stop asking about me lol. She says she always talks to her mother about me, how I make her feel good and make her laugh all the time etc. Then she starts getting more "touchy" and tells me that she's really glad I'm part of her life and she's happy we are friends and that she thinks about me (our friendship) she even confessed to having sexual type dreams about me lolol and started showing me things she considered buying for me as a birthday present but she didn't know if it was strange to be spending X amount on me.

She seems to have backed off a lot now so I am not sure if I missed the window of opportunity or if this is just how male/female friends act. I didn't respond to any of her touching as I find it very awkward to engage in touching and hugging so probably came across as somewhat cold. That said we are going to the movies tomorrow and for a coffee.

Not sure if I have misread the situation.


I would say that all of those things indicate she likes you. I know this now based on observing the way women in the media behave toward men they like. I wish would have known this earlier in life, it would have saved me a lot of embarrassment and insecurity.

I guess the "She loves me, she loves me not" plucking of flower petals isn't the best way to decide that after all. 8O


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Mr. Vague
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30 Jan 2020, 2:42 pm

We went out today and had a fun time, however it appears I must have misread the situation. Apparently it would be like going on a date wit her brother. At least I know!



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30 Jan 2020, 4:33 pm

Well, then she has been having "incestuous " dreams :D
She is a little confused and she is confusing you. Girls don't have sexual dreams about a guy they think of as a brother.


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Mr. Vague
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30 Jan 2020, 5:43 pm

I guess it's possible to unintentionally give off a certain vibe and then it be misread. At least we're still friends which is good!



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30 Jan 2020, 6:02 pm

Mr. Vague wrote:
I guess it's possible to unintentionally give off a certain vibe and then it be misread. At least we're still friends which is good!

Is this really all that you want? Otherwise you should push the things a bit or she'll skip you for the next one who isn't that shy. :roll:


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Mr. Vague
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30 Jan 2020, 6:33 pm

To be honest, being told "it'd be like dating my brother" is definitely friendzone territory and I'm inclined to leave it there seeing as she started talking about another guy she's interested in and setting up a date with. I think I'd rather take this as a learning curve and put my energy into someone else.



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30 Jan 2020, 9:45 pm

Teach51 wrote:
Well, then she has been having "incestuous " dreams :D
She is a little confused and she is confusing you. Girls don't have sexual dreams about a guy they think of as a brother.

My girlfriend is very close to her family & had sexual dreams with at least half of her immediate family. She's freaked out about the idea of actually doing anything sexual with any of her family & never wanted to in real life & never has. She also sometomes gets my name mixed up with on of her brothers cuz we're so much alike in some ways.


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30 Jan 2020, 10:18 pm

Mr. Vague wrote:
To be honest, being told "it'd be like dating my brother" is definitely friendzone territory and I'm inclined to leave it there seeing as she started talking about another guy she's interested in and setting up a date with. I think I'd rather take this as a learning curve and put my energy into someone else.


FYI: The term "friendzone" is misogynistic.

Anyway, it sounds like this girl does not have a clear idea of what she wants and who she wants it with. I agree that it'd probably be best if you looked elsewhere for love/dating/whatever.


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31 Jan 2020, 2:13 pm

Mr. Vague wrote:
I think I'd rather take this as a learning curve and put my energy into someone else.

I expect you won't improve. If you are into her then it's time to change yourself. She may believe that you aren't interested in her as a woman because you don't approach her. Care a bit about how you are together. Never prevent eye contact and don't shy away once a girl that you like gets in touch to you or she thinks you dislike to feel her. Once you are together then she should be with you not you with her. If she has girl friends give them always a smile and a nice greeting too. Girls care how you are towards other girls. And tell her that you want more than just being friends because you like her.


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