Dating up

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Women only ever date up. They will never be interested in guys who they think are lower than them. Also women don't approach men so men have to do all the work. Just look at dating apps where a man will have 2 girls that like him within two weeks when women will have over 100 likes within two days. Men don't care if a woman doesn't have money but a woman won't date a guy without a job.


Do you think I am right in my opinion about men in the dating world?

Uh-oh ... another "Women Have It Better" thread!

I do wonder why though women get so many likes compared too men on dating sites?

He is right though, at least in the context of online dating. My crazy, barely employed ex continues to attract boyfriend after boyfriend and they aren't complete losers either. Granted it's more quantity over quality but he does make a good point. All the more reason to stay off dating sites! I think a lot of it has to do with how men are conditioned to make excuses for women.

Let's take this as truth for the sake if argument.

Why do men have such low standards?

Okay, I'll play along.

Some men have such low standards -- and habituate dating sites, as well -- because they are desperate, having struck out often (always?) with confident, intelligent, educated, and physically appealing women. These men are desperate because they themselves neither act nor appear confident, intelligent, educated, and physically appealing.

Men attract the kind of women they deserve, and if they won't accept the kind of women they attract -- if they arewn't willing to "lower their standards" -- then the onus is upon them, and not on the women around them.

If she's your ex than how do you know she continues to attract boyfriend after boyfriend? And that these boyfriends shes attracting aren't losers?

I have no idea what is going on in the lives of any of my exes.

I do wonder when you are going to learn how the world works...

You didn’t get the guy you wanted tho.

Funny thing is, that's part of what was most difficult to get past. I felt like I must be really bad if even this awkward, lonely guy doesn't think I'm good enough.

At the end of the day...
I dodged a bullet

I need higher standards

Statistics. If 100 men use a site, and 3 women use it, and every man "likes" every woman, and every woman "likes" every man, how many "likes" does each get?

this thread is hurting me. Fnords statement in particular is consistent with me dating history.

Fair question. Even though she is "dead" to me I still know:
1) she once dated someone who by incredible coincidence lived in my small cul-de-sac on the other side of the city, where I moved to be with my wife. I was ready to call the police to report a stalker before I learned this. I am not rich but I don't exactly live in a ghetto.

2) I saw her at the local mall with a guy who had a car almost as nice as mine. He looked about 35-40 so I doubt it was his parent's.

3) my parents saw her at a wedding with the best man in a town an hour away. My parents knew the best man's parents quite well and this guy came from a wealthy, successful family. I wonder if they told them that my "psycho girlfriend" that they talked about was her!

Granted, they obviously don't last and who knows how many more (if any) she has dated in the meantime but my point is she doesn't drive (took the bus to my neighborhood, probably doesn't work (saw her there on my street all the time when I was on a 3 week vacation), has let herself go (and wasn't really attractive to begin with) and dropped out of school at least 4 times yet in spite of it all still has no issue finding boyfriends. I am sure she uses the story of how 'abusive' I was to her to reel 'em in even though she was abusive to me and I was only guilty of accepting it.

Getting back to the topic at hand, I think a lot of it has to do with how men are raised to be 'white knights' and to defend/excuse women no matter what, like I did with my ex believing that her angry 3 hour tirades for being 2 minutes late picking her up were my fault. For example, the last time I saw a woman being publically tackled and arrested by police for sucker punching a security guard and busting open his eyelid at a concert (I saw the injury and it was quite significant: it could have blinded him), a number of men who witnessed the whole event and probably didn't know her also got arrested for intervening and attacking the police to try and 'rescue' the woman and it almost caused a mini-riot (the cops must have sent 25 cars to control the situation!). I have never known a woman who would be foolish enough to do that, especially for a random person (male or female) they never knew.

Having said all that, let me post an anecdote that shows Jamesy that is isn't always the case the women never 'date down'. My sister-in-law's best friend is a good person, has a stable job, is a good mother and someone who is reasonably attractive even if overweight. In short, all she has ever dated are total losers with a capital L. The guy she is with now refuses to look for work, has cheated on her and won't help with the childcare (it's his child). They live in a ghetto apartment and she is on the brink of homelessness and what does she do when he leaves her? Take the opportunity to find a decent guy? Nope! She dated a number of other unemployed losers before taking back the original guy. Even though my sister-in-law and had several heart to heart talks about how normal couples do not hit each other, yell abuse or walk out in the middle of the night she still seems to believe that all men are like this and that we all just put on a façade in public before abusing our wives in private. That's probably what frustrated me to no end the most when dating: women in general wouldn't give me the time of day yet I would see a few of them with men I knew from school or work were very bad news with violent tempers.

Well-meaning people have kept me informed about my ex, in spite of me telling them that I don't effing care.

We're not doing "Who has it harder?" debates in L&D anymore.