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Kitty4670
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24 Jul 2020, 7:30 pm

Do people here reject people on dating sites cuz they have a different religion? I like this guy on OkCupid, he is very cute & have pretty eyes, but he is an atheist.



kraftiekortie
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24 Jul 2020, 7:38 pm

You don’t have to reject him if you don’t want to reject him.

Would him being an atheist bother you very much?



dragonsanddemons
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24 Jul 2020, 8:01 pm

Exactly what kraftiekortie said, it really depends on how important sharing a faith is to you. Some couples are perfectly happy being of different faiths, while for other people they really need someone of the same faith in order to be happy spending their life with that person. The real question is, how much does it matter to you?

(Not intending any judgment of anyone, I can see both sides of the issue)


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that1weirdgrrrl
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25 Jul 2020, 2:22 pm

I also agree with kraftie.

But before dating anyone, it is a good idea to decide what is important to you (what do you want of your partner), and what you are willing to compromise on (what is less important to you in the relationship).

I suggest making these decisions before dating, because you don't want to make these decisions based around a current crush. But it is to help you better understand your own wants and needs.


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Pepe
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25 Jul 2020, 9:05 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Exactly what kraftiekortie said, it really depends on how important sharing a faith is to you. Some couples are perfectly happy being of different faiths, while for other people they really need someone of the same faith in order to be happy spending their life with that person. The real question is, how much does it matter to you?

(Not intending any judgment of anyone, I can see both sides of the issue)


It makes the relationship more difficult.
Believe me, I am talking from experience. 8)



SharonB
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25 Jul 2020, 9:39 pm

I am agnostic, maybe atheist and dated partners of many faiths (or lack thereof). It didn't occur to me that it would be a factor for somebody (b/c it wasn't for me). My husband's grandparents did well even though grandma was a devote Catholic and grandpa devoted himself to Nature. A friend felt so strongly about her religion that her husband converted and actively practices it. So folks can benefit from difference, compromise around the difference, or as the Pepe suggests suffer for it.



Pepe
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26 Jul 2020, 12:01 am

SharonB wrote:
I am agnostic, maybe atheist and dated partners of many faiths (or lack thereof). It didn't occur to me that it would be a factor for somebody (b/c it wasn't for me). My husband's grandparents did well even though grandma was a devote Catholic and grandpa devoted himself to Nature. A friend felt so strongly about her religion that her husband converted and actively practices it. So folks can benefit from difference, compromise around the difference, or as the Pepe suggests suffer for it.


I was philosophically "Hijacked" because of love.
That was a mistake, and it shouldn't have happened, in my case. ;)



revlar
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27 Jul 2020, 10:03 am

I always see people who have posted their religious orientation on dating sites as a hint that it matters to THEM what religion you are. If they were open to dating people with other religious views, they wouldn't make theirs known on their profile.



usagibryan
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27 Jul 2020, 10:14 am

Perfectly valid. I couldn't date someone who wasn't an atheist.



revlar
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27 Jul 2020, 1:01 pm

^^ Same page



Pepe
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27 Jul 2020, 4:25 pm

revlar wrote:
I always see people who have posted their religious orientation on dating sites as a hint that it matters to THEM what religion you are. If they were open to dating people with other religious views, they wouldn't make theirs known on their profile.


Agreed.



rdos
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28 Jul 2020, 3:22 am

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
I also agree with kraftie.

But before dating anyone, it is a good idea to decide what is important to you (what do you want of your partner), and what you are willing to compromise on (what is less important to you in the relationship).

I suggest making these decisions before dating, because you don't want to make these decisions based around a current crush. But it is to help you better understand your own wants and needs.


I find those suggestions pretty weird, and probably, not very adaptive. NDs already are pretty set in their ways and their interests, and so why would they want to enforce this with potential partners? I'd love to share some new interest with a crush, and I might get some strong motivation to pursue a new interest, and so why would I not take that chance?

Besides, I have no idea what I might be willing to compromise on. It will all depend on the context and the arguments. If I decide I can compromise on x but not on y, then I have effectively put myself in a narrow corner without much options to behave in a smart way.