Anyone here find planning a major turn off?

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I was talking to a lady for a little bit where things mostly seemed to be going good but had a bit of a hang up over the fact that I would try to bring up petty plans like asking about plans for what to have for dinner or something to try and break an awkward silence at first but learned to work around the "p-word" in that sense, but then when she mentioned a more pressing problem of having to move by a deadline, it seemed to backfire on me when I tried asking her to talk with me about an idea I had that might extend the deadline for her. Instead of making things better where my goal was to help her relax about things she got upset and quit talking to me altogether because I tried bringing up a plan to extend the deadline for finding a roof over her head.

Does anyone else have a problem like this with planning being a major turn off? If so, any ideas for how to approach stressful situations like this without referring to the dreaded "P-word"?

Maybe she's looking for someone to move in with?

I've often found other women who want these spontaneous men who randomly do things aren't very mature, neither are these types of people in general to be honest.

Planning and being strategic usually gets you ahead in life. A lot of the extremely rich men I've known have always been planners and thinkers, these guys get what they want in life because their life is basically a well thought out strategy plan. Everything in it has a place or a date or an exact time.

Maybe she has so many problems with living situation because she doesn't plan or think ahead and that's why she's in a mess?

Thanks for the reassurance. I appreciate your opinion.

I thought of this as well but I could be way off base.

My girlfriend has a problem with plans because her moods & physical issues fluctuate a lot. She has various problems with pain & things like depression, anxiety, OCD, & probably on the border of having Borderline Personality Disorder. She can not predict how she'll feel the next day or even the next hour. It's very hard to make plans when you don't know if you'll have a bunch of energy & be hyper the next day, or if you'll be in a lot of pain, very depressed, & anxious & would feel like total cr@p. She also has a major problem with knowing what she wants or may want. She often says she does not have wants. That may make planning worse as well. However she wants plans & advanced notice when things involve others like doing things with family.

I'm an Aspie who really loves, wants, & needs plans. I've had LOTS of problems with my parents because they would change plans a bit at the last minute which would upset me & might trigger a meltdown. As a result my parents quit telling me plans till the last minute which also upset me & triggered some bad meltdowns sometimes, especially when they were ready to leave & I had to get ready cuz I did not know they were going somewhere I'd want to go to till they were practically out the door & then they were rushing me & mad at me for making them leave later than they wanted.
Unfortunately I've had some BAD meltdowns directed at my girlfriend before cuz she had to change plans at the last minute due to her not feeling well enough. However I think I've gotten a lot better about it. She tries more to keep plans or just push things for a little later in the day instead of canceling them. & I try not to get upset about it. Getting on OCD medication helps me not care quit as much about changing plans & getting on an antipsychotic helps me not get as angry & helps me stop myself from snapping at her.

You get sound advice from Lunella, from what I have seen.

I would find another friend if I were you.
I think you might have a personality conflict.
Just my opinion, no offence.

she did not like being contradicted.. your option of extending the deadline pissed her off because it wasn't what she wanted or plans to do.

Your kewl Pepe Yeah me & her do have some conflicts but neither of us belives there is a romantic relationship that is completley perfect for both people. We believe every relationship would have some problems, especially 1s involving us cuz we both have our own issues we're dealing with. What's really important is how we deal with conflicts. We both really love each other & both want what's best for each other. We both try to work on ourselves & help each other in ways we feel capable. We both feel guilty & hate ourselves when we have bad fights & really upset each other.

No offense taken.

What Lunella and Pepe said

I need to plan ahead. I'm not uptight about it and I can adapt to changes if given a bit of time or warning, but I don't like leaving decisions till last minute.

My sister used to go to the supermarket without any idea what she wants to buy. She'd spend a huge amount of time in there changing her mind, it drove me up the wall.

Anyway, if your lady friend is making such a fuss over something like this, you two might not be the best match.