Curious about this behavior

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What is up with a NT guy saying something like "You don't talk straight." to a girl who has Asperger Syndrome and therefore has an odd speech sound to her voice?

As for Immature Speech, what is meant by this? What about the bad behavior the guy is showing by labling her way of talking as nurky or wierd?

Another complaint is the NT guy saying she is a nice person, but he can't marry her because she won't submit to him. He offers her a shack when she knows he can do better for her.

Why do NT guys act this way? Unforgiving when an honest mistake is made on her part. Most girls he would forgive. Is this bad treatment learned behavior or do they just do it and the parents let it go?

I would also like to know if there are any cases of NT guys marrying a girl who has a learning disability. or shouldn't a mixed marriage like this even happen?

it is called intimidation, he puts you down for your speech because he knows it is unfair. The unfairness of it is why it hurts. It is meant to keep you in the subservient position and you are supposed to be apologetic because of it and he uses it to show how inferior you are.

Immature speech means he wants to embarass you into thinking you shame him when he is with you. it is called tearing you down so you think no one else will want you, so you are desparate to stay with him.

Not treating you well is called domination because he is afraid you will wise up about his behaviour and refuse to allow him to determine your self worth.
He wants your life to just run along side of his, not for you to have your own life.

If he is unforgiving when you make an honest mistake, he is dominating you by making you fearful of any of your actions. If you are fearful of actions you can't control, you are not thinking about things you can control.

I have had a marriage like this, Shadowcat. He chose me because I was autistic and with learning disabilities.

The one thing he didn't count on was that I might be dumb, but I was not stupid. And if you even have one little idea that this marriage shouldn't happen, then you are not stupid either!

Save yourself from misery and degradation and years of wasted life. You are a beautiful, warm, happy girl that is worthy of so much more... someone that loves you for you, and treasures you.

I have found that to escape out of relationships like this, just forgetting to care works best. No one can have power over you if you just don't care anymore.

Care more about you, dear friend. Be your own best advocate.


I belive in the future
we will suffer no more
maybe not in my lifetime
but in your's, I feel sure. . .

Great post, sinsboldly, and I agree with everything you've said.

I'd point out, though...

Of course, there is the idea of mutual
submission, which can be very good.

Mutual dominance seems scary though.

I've had relationships like this too.

I now have a great NT boyfriend who doesn't treat me badly and who understands my AS. I think what helps in this case is that he has mental health issues, so he knows what it is like to struggle to make sense of the world, and also what it is like to be discriminated against - so he can use this experience to really understand what it is like to have AS in a world that is designed by NTs for NTs.

So NT and AS relationships can work - it's just a case of finding someone to really understands (or who is willing to make the effort to gain a good understanding) and of finding someone who accepts you for who you are.

I am learning about these NT game intellectually.