I need help understanding my girlfriend.

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My girlfriend is on the spectrum and says she feels like no one truly understands her. I try but it's hard. I want her to feel loved and understood and heard. Can anyone help me?

Me & my girlfriend are both on the spectrum & she feels like nobody truly understands her or loves her for who is really is including me but she thinks I do a better job at it than anyone else does. I suspect I understand & love her more than she realizes sometimes. Cass was raised to be a people pleaser & put others needs first. She feels like a failure when she cant help others & for not being independent like society seems to expect most others be these days. She's her biggest critic sometimes. Since she doesn't accept & love herself for who she is, she does not fully get why anyone else would. It breaks my heart but it's partly due to her own issues & there's only so I can realistically do help. Thankfully she doesn't hate me because I fail, she loves me because I try.

I'm not sure if that's the case for your girlfriend or not OP. My advice that you might already do is to try having conversations with her about her wants & needs when she's in a better mood. The best you might be able to do is to just be there for her & show her you really care & are trying even when she's in a bad mood unless you think it's beater for her to have her space then. Also telling her things you do love & admire about her probably won't hurt but the compliments need to be genuine. I wish I had some better advice here. Hopefully this thread will have more replies.

Talk to her. Try to understand what she is saying. It may take some time for that to happen.
Don't feel a need to fix everything. Most likely she knows that is impossible. But she would like someone who will take the time to understand her view of things.