I don't care whether someone has "experience" or not

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chris1989
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26 Jan 2026, 1:15 pm

I remember thinking to myself worrying that people might find it a turn-off if a man has had less experience with relationships and sex by the 30s but a part of me doesn't really care whether a person I date or want a relationship with has had experience or not so why does it really matter and why spend my time unnecessarily worrying about it?



auntblabby
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28 Jan 2026, 12:35 am

IMHO the potential partners who make an issue of a man's non-experience are often self-impressed ableists who pre-judge a man on their perception of the man's lack experience as a demonstration of no self-confidence and conflate this with the man's perceived global capabilities and by extension the content of the man's character. IOW the non-demonstrative/non-confident man is judged to be a "loser" and not a "winner." when I was in the army the women of the barracks to a person [they gossipped and the gossip eventually came around to me] assumed I just had to be gay because I never made passes at any of them. it might never have occurred to any of these women that perhaps they themselves were not interesting people that a thinking person might find attractive.



Canadian Freedom Lover
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28 Jan 2026, 2:52 am

The dating market is like the job market, everybody is demanding 2-3 years experience for an entry level position.

Well, how is one supposed to get experience, if no one wants to offer a position to someone who is just entering the market?

I left the trades and the dating market for the same reason lol. :lol:



Tamaya
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28 Jan 2026, 11:27 am

I didn't really have experience with dating when I was younger but I still naturally knew what to do when I had my first date - even though I grew up in a household with parents that were in an unhappy marriage and so never expressed love for each other. In fact I had never seen my mother or my father being kissed and cuddled, either by each other or by other romances. When I was a teenager and my parents had finally parted, I was so desperate for my mother to find a new relationship, because I really wanted to see her loved and cherished by a man.
But she probably didn't ever get that far in a relationship because whenever a man was interested in her the first thing she would tell him about is my stupid Asperger's, so they probably just ran for the hills as they didn't want to be with someone who had a 'problem child'.


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Carbonhalo
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28 Jan 2026, 3:50 pm

I don't recall previous experience EVER being a consideration in attraction.

How would those words ever come up while you're emulating an octopus?

Even "May I kiss you" is stretching the vocabulary at that point.



nick007
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28 Jan 2026, 10:00 pm

When I was going to various sites related to relationships, I noticed lots of people complaining about how they did not want a partner who has lots of baggage from previous relationships, especially when kids are involved or if the guy was still having to pay child-support or alimony to his ex.


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