37 years old and never had a girlfriend.
As the topic title says, I am 37 years old and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I just don’t have any confidence in socializing and I was constantly socially isolated growing up. It also doesn’t help that I have some embarrassing health problems. I also only recently figured out that I actually enjoy wearing gothic/rivethead clothes but I am so far behind in terms of social skills. I would love to have a partner is also interested in the same subcultures but I am isolated from society. I wonder if there is any way I can “catch up” and actually find love or am I doomed to be alone forever?
Last edited by YoungMars on 15 Feb 2026, 12:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Canadian Freedom Lover
Veteran
Joined: 16 Dec 2022
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 634
Location: Vancouver Canada
Don't beat yourself up about not having a girlfriend at 37, lots of NT and ND men alike have issues with attracting the opposite sex. The dating market in 2026 is brutal.
That all being said I don't think it's a lost cause, if you want to date then date. You never know until you try.
CFL
Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,097
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom
Relationships (romantic or otherwise) are very hard and they are challenging to maintain!! !
I was SO close to getting married and starting a family...until my fiance David's heart just decided to stop working one day which resulted in his death!
Now I am at a crossroads and must make the choice of either restarting the dating cycle with a new man or completely abandoning the marriage goal altogether in respect for David...
That all being said I don't think it's a lost cause, if you want to date then date. You never know until you try.
CFL
I recently found out about a lounge in my area that is attempting to cater to the gothic crowd. I have some clothes that are gothic/rivethead in style and I hope maybe wearing them there could potentially attract interest from women. There’s been at least two times I can recall wearing rivethead pants and two women told me they liked how they looked. That’s never happened when I wore jeans, khakis, or church clothes.
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 76,406
Location: Portland, Oregon
I'm 36 and I have never been allowed to date.
My NT sister believes that whenever a man is in a relationship, he's in it just for sex & only sex.
My mom has said that if I do find myself a girlfriend, she will demand every single detail about her like a detective interrogating a suspect. Mom will believe that if I do find myself a girlfriend and we "click", she will accuse us of engaging in premarital sex and me of "wanting to escape."
_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!
My mother used to say all men want is sex too, but since I met my husband she has been proved wrong, as my husband is not into sex.
_________________
My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026
Please notify me if there's a spelling mistake or an obvious autocorrect error in my posts.
For several years I've been in occasional contact with a guy in a situation very similar to yours: late 30's, socially isolated, likes wearing rivethead clothes, exploring local goth club scene. Unless you happen to be this very same person I am thinking of, perhaps I could introduce you to him, so the two of you could give each other tips on what has worked or not worked for each of you in the goth club scene. To that end, feel free to PM me.
_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
