A situation involving a friend's girlfriend...

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Okay, I know this girl and she knows me. I like her, and would like to approach her... she's very unique and special. She's my cousin's wife's friend.

The only problem is that she is going out with one of my friends. I have reason to believe that he isn't that interested in her, based on actions and things he's said. But I think he's in a difficult place, since it was sort of a setup. And I don't really know how 'serious' they are.

I have become fairly good friends with my cousin's wife, and I think she would help me out... in trying to set up her friend with me... if the situation was different.

This girl invited me to a party she is throwing next week end. So I'll get to see how her relationship really is.

So I have questions, how long should I wait after the relationship fizzles out before trying to approach her? If it doesn't look like it's working out from my friend's side of things... could I ask him to help me out too?

Is this terribly poor form of me to even be considering my friend's girl?

Gah I should know more after the party, perhaps drinks all around will help clear up what is going on.

Can you make a diagram of that? My brain just overloaded with all this interconnectivity...

No, Pugly, no!

[smacking Pugly's eager little grasping paw]

Leave your friend's girl - no matter how bothersome - alone! Unless you don't mind trading the friend for the girl. As hard as friends are to find, you may want to become the "understanding go-between" instead. Or, ebro better, the "staying out of it guy."

Even if your friend hated this girl, his opinion of how trustworthy you are will be based on whose interest you seem to serve first.

And she'll come to the same conclusion eventually.

Just be the steadfast friend. That's your only chance of keeping both as friends.

If she's that special, she'll see the value in that kind of character.

Probably.

Women tend to have a guy groomed and waiting in the wings in case her current relationship fails. You're in the "on-deck circle", dude.

Erm, I wouldn't just be waiting around for it. The second you do - if you do manage it - get with that girl after the breakup - assuming there is one - you'll be incriminating. It's kind of a betrayal of your buddy's trust, mate.