Where are the crazies?

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I doubt I can ever be in a relationship. I think I'm pretty enough to attract someone but once they get to know me, they'll be running the other way. I don't even really try to attract guys anymore because I don't want to have to lie about myself to make them like me. I don't really consider myself much of a catch: I'm 20 years old but not independant at all. I have to depend on people A LOT. I can't go out alone, I can't make appointments for myself, and I still can't drive. I can also be a little bit paranoid; okay more like extremely paranoid. I also get in moods where I might not want to talk to people for a while. I try not to go over a week. I've never been in a relationship, so I don't know how that would work out. I'm thinking that maybe if I really like them alot, then hopefully I won't get like that with them. I can be into some weird things and sometimes like to talk about weird things so I'd need to find someone who's really open-minded. Hmm, what else? I have panic attacks alot. I talk to myself sometimes, but not that much anymore. I think only someone seriously crazy could handle me and want to be with me and who I can actually really get along with.
I only started writing this thread because I was crying and angry, but after writing this, I feel much better. I guess I'll still post it anyway.

The good and the bad of dating crazies is that while they may be able to sympathize, theyre too preoccupied with thier own problems.

I hear this " I drive men off" from women as much as I hear " I don't know how to chat up a girl " from guys. Also it seems to lead to a lot of women being taken advantage of because they are naive and men becoming bitter. So becare for yourself please.

I think back on one woman in particular who was NUTS . I fell for her hard. We dated she got on meds broke off contact. I saw her a couple of weeks a go sitting at a bus stop.

Often people who need help will not let you. So theres the common ground ruined.

Yes, it is hard when most cant relate and dont understand. Story of my life I try to form a meaningfull relationship with a women, I am a stable indivudal just not doing something right, a connectedness issue maby? I feel love and want to do the right thing, but dont know how to progress, so it never works. I understand your situation well.

As I learn just how different I am from 'normal', I learn just how hard it is to connect with someone on a level I'd need for a relationship.

I focus so much on social skills and finding a girl, but I sometimes think it's largely pointless since I'm not even interested in most girls...

I don't know how 'crazy' you are talking about, but I know I'll need to be with someone quite far from mainstream. Mentally I'm so scatterbrained... no one else but a 'crazy' would even begin to understand where I'm coming from.

I understand what you are going through, having that doubt of if I could even be in a relationship with anyone...

I feel that I can only be with another Aspie.

i think the only way i'll ever find love would be with another aspie, cause NT girls mostly end up just going for "knighted with an asbo" idiots

I sympathise, I put women off and, worse, have no idea how to flirt or how to respond to flirting (even worse, I know the rules but can't apply them in practice). I'm sorry I have no advice to give, life will probably be a solo flight for many of us.

guys seem to have two views of me... my exes im still in communication with, periodically still tell me how i was the one... and we did have great times... i cannot possibly believe in one true love cause i realize i love like i obsess and each love was a bright shining star in my sky... but i hurt and frustrated them to no end. how much can you hurt someone before you feel... impotent and that you will ever be what they deserve? and that's not to say some of them didn't cut me to the bone either... i haven't found a way to trust people past a certain point (of betrayal)... i shouldn't have to anyway...

and since all this and finding out about AS... i do at times feel like things will be the same no matter who i'm with. and it's heavy and if i could only find something else besides being alone, to obsess over... i'd probably be better off without anyone... having feminine issues and probably wont be able to reproduce and have a family anyway... so i might as well make peace with things.

Know the rules but cant apply them. Yep too many variables, frustrating isn't it?

Sedeka, loving like you obsess. Thats an insightful thing to admit. Now that I think about it the "crazies" women I dated cared for me like that, a bright flash in the pan. Remembering that i can see how some of your exes still feel you were the one. Be careful of other mens hearts now that you know this.

Starscream whats "knighted with an asbo" mean?

Maybe something we should all consider is we don't reallyWANT a relationship? I mean in theory sure but when we have been in one, or have the opportunity we don't stick with it?

Yes, it's very frustrating to lack the social intuition that would enable me to actually apply the rules.
ASBO is an 'anti-social behaviour order' - it's some sort of legal restriction placed on someone for antisocial behaviour in Britain.
In my case, I no longer feel chemistry with anyone - sure, I can like them or dislike them, find them attractive or not, but that's it. My capacity to fall in love again is probably dead or dying. Of all the girls I know, there are just a couple I could really see myself ever becoming emotionally attached to - one of them I don't know if I'll ever even see her again, and the other I purposely avoid as much as possible, as we would be incompatible and she's in any case taken for the long haul.

I was like that until well into my 25th year when I met someone - so it can still happen.

I'm not saying "relax and do nothing" like I sometimes used to hear because the years I relaxed and did nothing nothing happend and I do hope you find someone sooner than I did but what you wrote doesn't sound that bad; some of the characteristics you listed are not that uncommon or can eventually be changed.

I dated a serious (institutionalized at one point) bipolar once.She was "she who must be obeyed", and "the travel agent for guilt trips". Never again...

they say "never date anyone crazier than you are", but by that token, no two would be equally sane...

Does AS fall under ASBO? You guys get to carry cards if you're AS right? Is that good or bad? I saw a guy on youtube show his card and little business cards you hand out so people will undertand youve got AS how does that work out in practice. Is the public really more aware there?

I hear you on the chemistry thing. The pick up artists say you just have to go up to a womwn and not care . Well wheres the chemistry? The two times I fell in love I had to send someone over to get the ball rolling.

It sucks. You fumble around BECAUSE you care. I quit dating because the women were moving too fast. I did'nt mean to reject them but becaus eI wanted something more lasting I tried slowing down the physical side. I KNEW if we slept together on a first or second date it would ruin ( for me ) whatever we could hopefully build up to . I learned that the hard way.

I'm starting to wonder why all the talk about just asking people out. It seems everyone is dating through Dating sites now. Or maybe its just the 25 plus crowd.

But how do you get the chemistry going there? It feels too scientific. And If I got to admit how much money I make in a year they should have to post a picture in a bikini.

why not leave the pay packet question blank, surley someone has no need to know how much you earn before youve even met them,whatever happened to people falling for the people or related interests? a lot nowdays seems to be more geared towards how much someone earns how big their house is and how fast their car is, if i had to make a choice id rather be happy than go for the money.although i must admit i would need to find the person physically attractive. but before i get jumped on for that comment, everyones idea of physically attractive is different.

There was one link for singles in my town that had a MINIMUM amount you had to make to sign up.
I've never known how much I make in a year. I would get direct deposit and have someone elsre do my taxes.

I guess since it costs money to join these things it's an investment they want to pay off.

well i wouldnt have been allowed to join up on it then sounds like a crap site
have you met anyone interesting from it or where they to busy earning money to go online?